He Hurt Me And Now I Am Broken
by Victoria.Annxx
Summary: Heidi was attacked by someone who was very important in her life a few years ago. Someone she used to trust. Now she has to remember that she has someone else even more important in her life now, someone who would give their life to save hers. She has to let them in for them to help her, so she can move on and reclaim her life. So she can prove to her attacker that he never won.
1. Chapter 1

I found this other RSO story that I forgot I had written, so I decided to post it even though it probably won't get any reviews. I know cassie will enjoy it, I hope everybody else does as well. Please leave a review to let me know what you think.

By the way, this story is all written so I will update a couple of chapters at a time whenever I have chance to update which should be fairly often. Happy reading. :)

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Dean had no idea what happened. He was just sat at his desk completing paperwork that he was behind on. Michelle was in her office when it happened, talking on the phone to the minister, and the rest of the team were all out on a training course being run by Vince. They had left that morning and weren't due back for two days. Dean and Heidi were the only ones left behind as Michelle had excused them both from going. It was a call she made based on recent events that had taken place and she felt that she had no other choice.

While completing his paperwork, Dean was also subtly watching Heidi, and so he saw her get up from her desk unsteadily and make her way to the small kitchen that was near the bullpen. He continued to watch her as she got herself a glass of water, her hands shaking. After she had taken a sip she slowly put the glass down on the counter before swaying slightly and suddenly collapsing on the floor.

As soon as he saw Heidi collapse Dean bolted out of his chair and ran over to her, not caring about his paperwork which had gotten thrown all over the floor in his hasty attempt to get over to Heidi as fast as he could. When he reached her and saw that she was unconscious he shouted for Michelle who looked over in the direction of his voice, and upon seeing the situation, hurriedly ended her call with the minister and rushed over to Dean and Heidi.

Dean had already started to assess Heidi before Michelle arrived and had checked her breathing, made sure her airways were clear, checked her pulse and then tried to see if she responded to him by gently squeezing her hands and saying her name. She didn't react so he moved her into the recovery position and told Michelle to go downstairs and get a medical kit out of one of the trucks. While she was gone Dean started talking to Heidi, trying to get her to respond in any way, and telling her that she was going to be okay.

When Michelle got back she quickly attached an oxygen mask to Heidi's face in order to improve her breathing while Dean checked her blood pressure. He was concerned to see such a low reading, and swore in frustration when he checked her pupil responses and got nothing. She hadn't just simply fainted, she was deeply unconscious. Her pulse rate hadn't improved and she still didn't respond when this time Michelle tried squeezing her hands. By the time they had done all this Heidi had been unconscious for five minutes, which also confirmed to Dean that this wasn't a faint. He told Michelle they would give it a few more minutes and if she hadn't improved or regained consciousness then they would need to call and ambulance.

Dean was worried. He didn't show it too much to Michelle because he could see she was already worked up enough herself. But secretly he was worried and scared. It shouldn't have gotten this far. They had all known something was wrong with her, they had all seen her change right in front of them. Three weeks ago she had just shut down. She had stopped talking and had become distant with everybody. They had all come to Dean looking for answers as to why but he couldn't give them any. They lived together, but even he had no idea what was happening. Heidi hadn't even talked at home. Dean had given her space and hadn't pushed her to tell him what was wrong, thinking she would come to him eventually, but she never did. He had seen her almost faint before, a few times, but she had always been fine. This time however, she wasn't fine. And Dean couldn't help thinking that if he had done something earlier, they wouldn't be in this situation right now.

This was why Michelle had excused them from the training course. Dean had been excused because he lived with Heidi and so Michelle wanted him to get her to open up before the others came back. It had gotten more serious last week when she had asked Vince to let her stay behind on a rescue. It was one of the few moments nowadays when she spoke, and Vince had agreed, mainly because of the look in her eyes. He had told Dean later that what he saw was pure fear. She had stayed behind on three more rescues after that.

Nobody had said anything as they all knew that this training course was coming up, and they had all already guessed that Heidi wouldn't be coming with them. During this time they also knew that Michelle would want to speak to Heidi in private so as to try and get her to talk about what had been happening. They weren't surprised when Michelle told them this morning that Dean also wouldn't be going with them, and had looked at Dean with pleading eyes, silently begging him to bring her back to them. Michelle and Dean were planning on talking to her later on today, but the events that unfolded made them both forget all about it.

Dean and Michelle decided to check Heidi's vitals once more and if they hadn't improved then they would call and ambulance. As they proceeded Michelle noticed that Heidi had become very warm and flushed, signs of a fever, so she and Dean decided to take her jacket off and try and cool her down. Which is when they saw the bruises. They were on her forearms and her upper arms, and when they saw them Dean and  
Michelle looked at each other in surprise and concern. Dean carefully lifted up Heidi's t-shirt to look at her stomach and chest, and found the same thing. Bruises covered her lower abdomen and Michelle noticed some on her back. They looked to be a few weeks, maybe a month old. When they had seen the state Heidi's body was in they both looked at each other again, knowing that these bruises weren't accidental.

Michelle: 'Dean.'

Dean: 'It looks like she's been attacked, severely beaten by somebody. How did I not notice?'

Michelle: 'She hid it well. Nobody noticed Dean, not just you.'

Dean: 'But we live together!'

Michelle: 'I don't think she wanted anybody to know, including you. Not until she was ready anyway.'

Dean: 'She could have told me anything. She knows I'm always here for her.'

Michelle: 'Shame, perhaps. Or maybe whoever did this to her is known to us. She knew that if she told us who it was then she was afraid you would do something regrettable. She knows you are always there for her Dean, and maybe that's the problem. She knew you wouldn't be able to let it go.'

Dean: 'Damn right I wouldn't. But I don't know who would do this to her. She hasn't been seeing anybody that I know of. She would have told me if she was anyway.'

Michelle: 'She'll tell us when she's ready. We have to trust her to trust us. Right now though, we need to concentrate on getting her better. We need to know why she collapsed. She's been unconscious for just under ten minutes. What do we do.'

Dean: 'We don't tell anybody. Nobody but us knows about this, and it will stay that way until Heidi is okay with the others knowing. (Michelle nodded) Right how are her vitals?'

Michelle: 'Better. Her BP's gone up and her pulse is stronger than it was.'

Dean: 'That's good. Her pupils are also more responsive than before, they're reacting to the light which is a good sign. Her breathing is better as well, she's not as dependent on the oxygen anymore.'

Michelle: 'Should we call an ambulance?'

Dean: 'Not yet. We'll give her chance to wake up and see what's what. If she needs a hospital then we'll wait and see how she responds to that and see if an ambulance is required.'

Michelle: 'With these bruises, she needs a hospital. She needs to see a doctor. We don't know what kind of injuries she could have.'

Dean: 'I know. But if she doesn't want to go I won't force her until she's ready. I want to find out what happened first. If we go to the hospital without being able to tell them what happened then it will be labelled as a possible assault case, the police will be called and I will end up as number one suspect. You know how everything works. Besides if she had internal injuries she would have had symptoms earlier on.'

Michelle knew exactly that what Dean had said was true. They lived together so if Heidi couldn't tell the staff at the hospital what had happened they then would have no choice but to assume a domestic abuse case and Dean would become the bad guy in all of this. With the decision made to wait and see what Heidi had to say about everything, both Dean and Michelle watched over Heidi closely and waited for her to wake up. After a couple of minutes Dean felt her hand slowly start to move and saw her eyes flutter open. He smiled at her and told that she was okay, she was at HQ and he explained to her what had happened. He knew it was important to keep her calm, and wanted to find out why she had collapsed before allowing her to move too much in case it happened again.

Dean and Michelle moved Heidi onto her back and Dean took off his own jacket to use as a makeshift pillow, and he carefully slid it under her head. As she became more aware of what was happening Dean  
started to ask her if she knew what had happened and why she had collapsed. To his and Michelle's relief Heidi started talking, something they hadn't had much of lately, and she started to tell them what she could remember, pausing in between as more things came back to her.

Heidi said she had felt really dizzy and sick, and her balance had completely disappeared, so she couldn't stand up anymore. Her vision went all blurry and she remembered feeling like she wasn't fully present anymore. It was like she was really high on something and so spaced out she wasn't aware of anything or anyone and couldn't think clearly at all. Dean said it was a common experience people had before losing consciousness during a collapse, that they felt like they weren't fully there anymore. Almost like their mind and body had become separate. Michelle noticed that she was still quite warm and as Dean felt her forehead he noticed that she was running a temperature. He knew it could have been a side effect from her collapsing, or it could have been something more serious. Heidi said she felt fine and was okay to sit up, so cautiously Michelle had helped her to carefully move into a sitting position while Dean rechecked her blood pressure and pulse to see if they were holding. They both watched her extra closely for any signs that she could lose consciousness again, but Dean was happy with her vitals and confident that they wouldn't need an ambulance.

However he knew they had another problem when Heidi realized that she wasn't wearing her jacket and that her arms, and bruises were clearly visible to them. She panicked and anxiously tried to move away from them, covering herself up as best she could at the same time. But Michelle laid a comforting but firm hand on Heidi's arm and stopped her, giving her a small smile that told Heidi that her efforts to hide were useless, they had already seen them. Heidi pulled away from Michelle's grasp and turned away from both her and Dean, but not before they saw the tears form in her eyes and start to fall down her face.

Dean: 'Heidi, its okay. You don't need to be scared. I know you want to hide it from us but we already know. Heidi, I'm just going to move a little closer. Can you look at me, please. (She slowly turned to look at him) We are here for you. I'm here for you. I want to help you but I can't do that if you don't let me. You don't have to deal with any of this alone.'

He held his hand out to her and she took it. He moved even closer to her and pulled her onto his lap, embracing her in a hug that made her feel safe, and told her that she could tell him anything and he would listen to her and understand. She couldn't stop the tears after that. She cried and he held her, promising her that he would be there for her every minute of every day and he wouldn't leave her for a second. When she calmed down, Dean asked her about the bruises and if whatever had happened had been about three weeks ago. She had nodded yes, but her silence had returned. She didn't say anything, instead choosing to stay in Dean's arms where she felt safe.

Dean decided that for today it was enough. She needed to rest and he wasn't going to push her any further. He made sure that she was okay and told her they were going home. Michelle helped him as he stood up, holding Heidi close to him at the same time as she wouldn't let go, and when he was sure she could walk downstairs to the car he slowly started to walk with her in that direction. At the same time Michelle quickly packed up the medical kit and supplies to take it to Dean so that he could take it home with him so, if God forbid, anything happened to Heidi again he had it there on standby.

Dean: 'I'll monitor her at home and make sure she's okay. I'll watch her fever but I don't think it'll come come to anything serious.'

Michelle: 'Let me know how she is. I want to know that she's okay. Oh and don't worry about coming in tomorrow. Take the day and talk to her. Try and find out what happened.'

Dean: 'I will. I want to hopefully find out before the team get back so we have some answers but if there's no progress tomorrow then I don't see any point in bringing her in to work anytime soon. If she collapses again in front of the team, they'll never leave her alone.'

Michelle: 'I understand. Call me when you know more. Don't worry about anything else either, I'll make sure paperwork is taken care of, and Heidi's.'

Dean: 'Thanks Michelle.'

With that Dean got into the car to see that Heidi had covered herself up with her jacket. When he had started the engine and driven away from the station he watched her as she reached out her hand to him and he took it in his, holding it and gently stroking the back of it with his thumb. This small gesture was a huge measure of comfort to Heidi that she knew meant that Dean wasn't going anywhere and would be there for her no matter what. He felt her relax and guessed that it was the first time in the three weeks that she had kept this secret from them.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean: 'Heidi, I need you to talk to me.'

They were sat on the sofa; Dean at one end in a relaxed and non-threatening way, while Heidi was at the other with her knees brought up to her chest in a defensive manner. She was staring out the window, wishing that this conversation wasn't happening. It wasn't that she didn't trust Dean, it was that if she told him what happened then he would want to know it who was. That was what she couldn't tell him. However she knew that he wasn't going to give up. That much was clear after yesterday.

Heidi knew she should never have gotten up from her desk. She should have waited for the dizziness to pass before risking it. But instead she got up and went for that stupid glass of water. Which led to both Dean and Michelle revealing her secret. She had tried so hard to stop that from happening and all it took was one dizzy spell to ruin everything.

When they got home yesterday Heidi had decided to go straight to bed to stop a repeat of the events that had unfolded. She could feel the dizziness coming back and so to avoid a trip to the hospital had hidden it from Dean. That was around three o'clock in the afternoon. The only time she had gotten up was when Dean had forced her to eat something, but she had gone back to her room afterwards. This morning she felt better and so to stop Dean worrying over her she had gotten herself out of bed, showered and dressed. She had managed to escape 'the talk' earlier but now that they were both sitting in the lounge Dean had brought it up and Heidi knew that she had no choice but to talk to him.

Dean: 'I know that you're scared and don't want to talk to me but you need help. You know that Michelle deliberately kept you from going on that training course and that's because you have been worrying all of us with your behavior recently. And then yesterday you collapse and we discover a multitude of bruises all over your body that suggest someone attacked you. You need to talk to me and tell me what happened. I won't tell anybody else if you don't want me to, even Michelle. It can be kept between the two of us. But please don't sit there and say nothing.'

At his words Heidi knew she couldn't prevent it from happening. He was going to find out eventually, even if he had to sit here all night and wait for her to say something. There was no use delaying the inevitable.

Heidi: 'I won't tell you who did this. No matter what you say. I can't, at least not yet.'

Dean: 'That's okay. I won't force you to do that. However, you do know who did this to you.'

Heidi nodded. Dean didn't say anything else about it, knowing that he wouldn't get anything else out of her concerning the person who did this to her, not until she was ready anyway.

Heidi: 'It happened the night that you and Vince were away giving that presentation at the academy. We all went out, apart from Michelle. Lachie and Chase left early and it was just me, Lara and Jordan. It got to around midnight when we decided to leave. Lara said she'd give me and Jordan a lift home. I went to the bathroom and when I came back they had gone. I went outside and saw them drive off.'

Dean: 'What, they just left you there? By yourself?'

Heidi: 'Yeah. Neither of them even texted or called me to see if I had gotten home alright. When I walked into the station the next day I saw them both laughing about it. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to make it worse.'

Dean: 'Heidi, what happened after they left you?'

Heidi: 'I started to walk home by myself because the bar wasn't that far from here, and I hadn't had a lot to drink. A car pulled up ahead of me and the driver waited for me to become level with him before getting out.'

Dean: 'The man that did this.'

Heidi: 'Yeah.'

Dean: 'And he's someone you know.'

Heidi: 'Used to know. I haven't seen him in a while. Anyway, he offered to drive me and I declined. But he wouldn't give up. To cut a long story short he followed me and when I reached the beach path I turned around to see him get out of the car again and he pushed me into the dunes. You can guess the rest.'

Heidi didn't want to go into the details, it was hard enough just talking about it. Dean could see that so didn't push her for anymore answers; instead he asked her simple yes or no questions that would give him what he needed without making her upset.

Dean: 'Apart from hitting you did he do anything else?'

Understanding what he meant she quickly shook her head no, not even wanting to think about that had she not gotten away when she did.

Dean: 'Is that when you, erh, shut down. At work?'

He tried to choose his words delicately and not make it sound like everyone thought she had gone off at the deep end.

Heidi: 'Is that what I did. Shut down. I didn't think it changed me that much.'

Dean: 'Heidi you stopped talking. Completely. For three weeks. You asked to stay behind on rescues, you never do that. I watched as you nearly collapsed three other times before quickly covering it up. I listened to you cry yourself to sleep at night and wondered why you didn't come to me. But I didn't push you. I waited for you to make the first move, hoping you would. And you did. Yesterday your body couldn't take it anymore. It gave up pretending everything was fine. And today your mind did as well. They connected again, but instead of shutting down your mind listened to your body and gave up the fight of trying to hide everything.'

Heidi: 'It's called dealing with it. I 'shut down' to deal with it.'

Dean: 'It didn't work though, did it.'

For the first time since they had sat down Heidi turned to look at Dean and saw a range of different things on his face. Sympathy, compassion, understanding, hurt, hate. They were all there. She brought her knees away from her chest, a signal of letting her guard down. Since she had known him, Dean had been the only person who could ever make her do that. It was a big sign of trust and Dean knew that she was doing it because she wanted to, not because she felt she had to.

Heidi: 'I don't want anybody to know about this. No one. Including Michelle. I need time to start dealing with it, properly, before I deal with everybody else. Besides, they'll all want to know who did it. And apart from you, I don't think I could ever tell anybody who it was.'

Dean: 'You don't have to. It's your choice and I respect that. Do I want to know who it is? Yes definitely, because I would like to kill the SOB for what he did to you. Will I do that? No, because I wouldn't do that to you. Nobody will hear anything from me. I can tell Michelle that you have talked to me and I know what's going on, but as for details she will have to wait. She'll understand. And I understand your hesitance about telling me who it was. But like I said, I respect your choice and if your choice is to keep it to yourself for now then I'll wait. From this hesitation, I'm also taking it that you don't want the police involved.'

Heidi: 'No. It'll only make things worse.'  
Dean: 'Okay, that's fine. Second thing is that I need you to be truthful with me. If you were assessing a patient with these same injuries would you say they would need to go to the hospital.'

At that question Heidi looked away again, contemplating her answer. Dean knew she was deciding on telling him the truth or a lie, and he really hoped she would choose the former so they wouldn't be back to square one. When she looked back at him, Dean could see the answer in her eyes.

Dean: 'I'll call Michelle. Give her an update before she starts worrying. Then we'll go.'

Heidi nodded and Dean stood up, but before he left the room he moved over to Heidi and crouched down in front of her.

Dean: 'Thank you for being honest with me. About everything. I know it must have been hard to talk about it but I hope you understand that I couldn't let this go after seeing you unconscious yesterday, and after seeing the bruises. We couldn't leave it alone and I care about you too much to have done that anyway.'

Heidi: 'I know. And I hope you understand that the reason I didn't tell you earlier wasn't to do with trust. If I had, I would have to have admitted that it actually happened. I was pretending it wasn't and that none of it was real, including the bruises. I couldn't accept it. But I know now that I have to.'

After she had said those words and Dean left to call Michelle Heidi thought about what she had said. The accepting part. She knew before that she was scared to accept it, and so she denied it to protect herself. But she couldn't do that anymore. Dean knew and the fact that another person knew made her realise that it was all real. It wasn't going to go away no matter how hard she wished it would. She needed to move on from it and carry on with her life. She wanted that more than anything, and she knew if she didn't then he would win. Heidi wasn't okay with that. She knew that he may be stronger than her physically, but mentally she was going to prove to him that he hadn't won. That she was the stronger one.


	3. Chapter 3

Lachie: 'Finally, back to civilization.'

Jordan: 'I know. Can't wait to have a shower and a proper full nights sleep. I must be running on four hours over the last three days at most.'

Lara: 'You! I'm the one whom you woke up every time you needed the bathroom. I swear I've never known someone who needed to go so much during the night in my entire life!'

Jordan: 'It's been like, 100 degrees out here the entire time. I've been drinking a lot and besides its perfectly natural.'

Lara: 'You wish! We've all been drinking a lot but you didn't see us out in the bush with you ten times every night, did you.'

Lachie: 'Okay guys drop it. Nobody likes the fact that we were stuck out here in this heat for three days, but we all survived at least, didn't we.'

Jordan: 'Yeah, can't believe we had to stay an extra night though. Seriously, who decides to go for a late night hook up in the middle of nowhere. Bet they didn't even notice the car rolling down the hill. Too much excitement, eh?'

Lara: 'Jordan get your head out of the gutter. You're disgusting.'

Jordan: 'Yeah well, I'm allowed to poke a little fun at those idiots. After all, they are the reason we were out here for another night. I'm just happy the road's reopened, that way I won't have to spend another night with Miss Fussy over there.'

Lara: 'I am not fussy! I just like to have a decent night's sleep without disturbances.'

Jordan: 'Not gonna happen out here. How on earth did you ever cope with Hamish?'

Lara: 'That's different. I grew used to Hamish being there, and used to his nightly habits. With you I don't think I could ever get used to anything.'

Jordan: 'Well it's a good thing you don't have to, isn't it?'

Lachie: 'This is why I always choose to share with Chase. Ever since we were kids as soon as he was asleep nothing could wake him up. He might as well have been comatose. Made him the victim of numerous night-time pranks. I mean look at him now.'

Since they had left their campsite Chase had been fast asleep in the truck. Vince was driving with Lachie riding shotgun. Chase, Jordan and Lara were all in the backseat with Chase in the middle and Jordan on his left, using his shoulder as a make-shift pillow. Lachie's words were accurate. They hadn't been quiet but Chase hadn't even flinched. A bomb could go off in the road right in front of them and Chase still wouldn't wake up. However Chase was too busy in his dreams to notice anything happening in the conscious world. He had lots of things running through his mind, some more important than others. These thoughts soon became the topic of conversation in the truck.

Lara: 'Hey Vince, did Michelle say anything about Heidi when you called her?'

Vince: 'Erh, not really, no.'

Lachie: 'What's that supposed to mean?'

Vince: 'It means she did and she didn't.'

Lara: 'Well what did she say?'

Vince: 'We can talk about it with Michelle when we get back. She knows more than I do.'

Lara: 'But you do know something.'

Vince didn't say anything, unsure of whether to tell them what Michelle had told him or not. She had told him only because he had practically forced it out of her mouth, exactly like what they were all doing to him now. It made him understand what it felt like to be on the receiving end of pressure. He knew Michelle was keeping something back from him though, but she didn't say anything else and instead had made Vince promise to not say anything to the others until they got back from the bush so as not to worry them all. Vince knew they were all worried already and by him not saying anything it could make their worries worse. He decided that if he told them the basics like Michelle had done to him then she could properly explain when they got back, and they were nearly back anyway. But it wasn't fair to leave them guessing when he knew they were seriously worried about Heidi.

Vince: 'Look, Michelle wanted to tell you herself, and I don't know everything -'

Lachie: 'What do you know?'

Vince: 'Heidi collapsed at HQ a few days ago. The afternoon after we left to be more precise.'

Lara: 'What! Is she okay? What happened?'

Vince: 'Michelle said she's okay but they don't know exactly what happened. That's all she told me. She said she'll explain properly when we get back.'

Lara: 'Is it, do you think its connected to her strange behavior lately? I mean it can't just be a coincidence, right. That would be too coincidental itself.'

Nobody said anything, all absorbed in their own thoughts and worries about what could be wrong with Heidi. Their concerns over what the cause was had intensified after hearing that she had collapsed and new scenarios of what could be going on raced through their minds.

Vince: 'Michelle said that Dean and Heidi haven't been at work for the past couple of days. Dean called and said that Heidi was doing okay but that's all she knows herself.'

He wanted to try and ease their worries a little by telling them that Dean had said she was okay. But he knew that it wouldn't do much. They all wanted to see her for themselves, to make sure that Dean was right, she was okay, and to find out what was going on. Vince also knew that after this news, nobody was going to let Heidi's strange behavior slip from their minds again. Until the truth was revealed everybody was going to be on edge and constantly watching her.

The only thing that Vince knew for sure was that whatever Heidi was going through Dean knew about it. He knew that Heidi would have told him, and he knew that Dean wouldn't say anything until the time was right. That was one thing he was certain about in all of this, the only thing in fact. However Vince also knew that Dean would have Heidi's feelings at the top of his priority list and wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize her. In all of this, that was the most important thing, and the one thing everybody would agree on.

Before the truck descended into total silence for the last forty minutes of their drive Lara asked the one question nobody had thought about it, and nobody wanted to do, knowing how close the two of them were, and so knowing how likely he would be to panic.

Lara: 'Who's going to tell Chase?'


	4. Chapter 4

Dean stood silently watching Heidi from the hall, wondering how to talk to her. She was sat in her bedroom with a book open in front of her but Dean knew that she wasn't really reading it. Michelle had called and told Dean that the team were back and knew what had happened to Heidi. She said they were all concerned for her and wanted to know if they could see her. Dean had known that they probably would have wanted to see her but he wasn't comfortable letting that happen without Heidi's permission, especially with Lara.

Heidi hadn't said much since they had been to the hospital a couple of days ago. Her injuries were several bruised ribs which she had already guessed and a couple of cracked ribs which she hadn't known about. Other than that there was nothing very serious and the doctor couldn't find a reason as to why Heidi collapsed or her previous dizzy spells. He said due to her asthma she naturally had respiratory problems, however coupled with her recent chest injuries her breathing could have been severely affected. These 'difficulties' as he called them could have lead to her suffering from the dizzy spells and eventually leading her to collapse. He couldn't be one hundred per cent sure.

Other than that the doctor said the bruises would start to fade in a couple more weeks and would take around a month to completely disappear. When he and Dean had stepped outside he mentioned that he was more concerned about Heidi's mental health rather than her physical health. Dean had said he had it under control and had already organized counseling, even though he hadn't. He had decided it would be Heidi's choice whether she wanted to see someone either now or at a later date, but he had to get the doctor to leave it alone somehow.

On their way home Dean thought about how much pain Heidi must have been in with her cracked ribs and how she hadn't said anything. He didn't ask her about it because he didn't want her to think he was annoyed at her for not telling him sooner. That was the last thing he felt, and he understood why she hadn't told him before. Dean was thinking about all of this while watching Heidi, before making the decision to go in and talk to her. As he sat down next to her she turned, looked at him and gave him a small smile. Dean told her nearly everything Michelle had told him however he did mention the team wanting to see her. There was one other thing he wanted to tell her but decided to wait a bit before mentioning it. He explained that he had said no about the team seeing her until he could ask her himself and see what she wanted. He also added that Michelle had already given her some time off and that he thought she should take it and give herself time to heal.

Heidi: 'No. I don't want time off.'

Dean: 'Are you sure? I think you should let you ribs heal before coming back, maybe take a week off.'

Heidi: 'Everybody's talking about it, what happened. I know that when I go to work they will all watch me and stare at me, waiting for something to happen. It'll only be worse if I take time off. The sooner I get back to work the sooner things go back to normal. Besides it wasn't like I was going on rescues before I collapsed anyway. Give me light duties, I'll be fine.'

Dean: 'What you just said, about not going on rescues, did you ask Vince to let you off because of what happened to you.'

Heidi: 'Yes. I knew that I wasn't feeling well enough and that I wouldn't be much help at a rescue. If I messed up and somebody else got hurt, well I couldn't have lived with that. But the main reason was because I was scared. I was terrified that I would see him somewhere and I wasn't ready to deal with that. I knew it was a possibility, but thinking about it and it actually happening are two very different things.'

Dean: 'You don't have to be scared anymore. I will be here to help you. You don't have to do this alone. Now, are you sure about going in to work. You can take some time to think about it if you want.'

Heidi: 'I don't need time. I want to do this. There is just one thing I'm worried about. I don't know what to do if anybody sees the bruises. I don't want the team to find out just yet, and I especially don't want them guessing how I got them. Speculations start rumors which is the last thing I want or need.'

Dean: 'We'll deal with that if it happens. You've managed to hide it well for three weeks on your own. Now I know, I can help you. You won't be on rescues so the team won't have a chance to find out that way. As for being at HQ as long as you keep your arms covered and don't get changed in front of Lara nobody should notice.'

Dean saw Heidi relax as she thought about what he had said and agreed with him. Now that the issue of going back to work was sorted Dean decided it was time to bring up the last thing Michelle had told him. Dean had become a little upset himself after hearing this and so was going to have to take it carefully when telling Heidi.

Dean: 'There is one more thing I wanted to talk about. You can say no if you don't like the idea, I won't mind, and I don't want you to feel guilty if you say no either.'

Heidi: 'What are you talking about?'

Dean: 'When Chase found out what happened a few days ago he didn't take it too well. He's very upset that he wasn't here for you and is extremely worried about you. What I'm asking is if you would consider telling Chase what you told me. I know it may not be what you want but you know that Chase wouldn't tell anyone and I think it would be good for him to understand that you are going to be okay. He cares about you a lot and Michelle said he's barely said a word since they told him.'

Heidi: 'I never wanted this to happen! This is my fault. I should have told you sooner, it would have stopped all of this. I hate that Chase is so upset. He's my best friend and my brother and I feel upset myself that he feels like this. And I hate that Lara is acting so concerned when none of this would have happened if it wasn't for her! I feel ashamed of myself for keeping this secret from you and Chase and the others and I feel ashamed about hating Lara. But I can't help it. I blame her for everything and I hate myself for it.'

Dean: 'Heidi, its okay to feel like that. You are allowed to be mad and angry at Lara. I am angry at her as well. But I have to keep my emotions in check and try and work with her because at the moment you are my first priority and I don't want to make things worse for you at work around her. I want to shout at her so badly and make her explain why on earth she did what she did. But I won't because it's your decision whether you want to confront her about it or not. But under no circumstances should you feel guilty about hating or blaming Lara because I feel the same way. As for Chase he won't want you to be upset over him. I think with him, if you explain and show him that you are going to be okay and that you are going to get through this, then he'll be able to get through this as well. You can do it together.'

Heidi: 'If I tell him, what do I say if he asks who did it? I don't want him to think I told you but not him.'

Dean: 'I'll handle that. I'll make sure he understands that you aren't telling anyone yet and also your reasons for doing so. But as your best friend and brother I promise you, he will be there for you and support you just like I am.'

Once all the worries were out of the way Heidi agreed that she would tell Chase what happened. She decided she wanted to get it over and done with sooner rather than later though, before she lost her nerve and couldn't do it, and so Dean suggested that they go in to work that afternoon. That way the team could see Heidi and see that she was okay, Dean could talk to Michelle about Heidi returning to work, and Heidi could talk to Chase. With that plan made Dean left Heidi alone in her room once more, and she went back to staring out the window with the open book on her knee, exactly like she had been doing when Dean had first come in to talk to her.

Apart from this time, instead of thinking about what had happened both three weeks ago and three days ago, Heidi was thinking about the team and how, once they saw her, they were going to react. She was also thinking about how she would react to them. Dean already knew her secret, Chase was about to know, but she also had to contend with Lara. Having Dean know Heidi could handle. It was sort of a relief to her to actually tell somebody and have somebody to talk to. With Chase she would have to be careful with how she told him because from what Dean had told her Chase was an emotional wreck, pretty much just like her, and having two unstable people on the team was bound to be suspicious. You could call it three if you called Dean unstable as well. Heidi thought about having Dean there when she talked to Chase, for her support and Chase's. It would mean as well, that if she froze up when telling him, Dean would be there to continue for her. Yes, to her that seemed like a very good idea. She would ask him on the way to the station.

As for Lara, she was scared. She was unsure of how to deal with her. Heidi didn't want Lara's sympathy or her asking if she was okay. The idea of Lara doing that made her feel physically sick. But she didn't want to make it obvious that there was a problem between them. Before she collapsed and Dean found out it was easy to avoid Lara as she was practically avoiding everybody so nobody thought of it like she was deliberately avoiding her. Now that Dean knew he was going to be watching Lara and Heidi like a hawk. Heidi knew Dean was trying very hard not to hit the roof with Lara so this afternoon was going to be a challenge for both of them. Heidi would have to try and keep herself together while Dean would have to try and make sure he didn't lose it at Lara and spill everything.

Heidi knew Dean would never tell anybody without asking her first but under that sort of pressure she knew anything could happen. With herself mentally prepared to tell Chase, she would have to make sure not to put herself in a situation with Lara which could end up with her telling Lara what happened in a fit of rage. Right now Lara didn't get to be sorry for what happened, and she didn't want to hear it. In Heidi's mind it wasn't going to just go away with a simple apology. She still didn't know why Lara left her at the bar, or why she never thought to call and check that she got home safely.

But in one way Heidi didn't want to know. She didn't want to have to try and wrap her head around whatever reason Lara gave her as well as trying to move on from it. Eventually she would have to talk to Lara and listen to what she had to say as part of dealing with the emotional trauma she was going through. However that didn't have to happen right now. Today she had to talk to Chase. That was going to put her through enough emotional turmoil to last a lifetime.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean: 'Heidi, Heidi, can you hear me? It's Dean. Come on Heidi wake up.'

Dean had been waiting for Heidi to get ready before they went to HQ when he heard a small thump come from her room. He had called out to her but she hadn't responded, and so with fear growing inside him of what could have happened he had made his way to her room and saw her collapsed on the floor for the second time in a week.

He was immediately concerned that she would be unconscious for nearly ten minutes like last time, but she had started to stir as he knelt down next to her. She was in and out of consciousness for a couple of minutes before she was fully awake and aware of what was happening.

Dean: 'Heidi, you okay?'  
Heidi: 'Yeah I'm fine. I'm fine, I just felt a bit dizzy.'

Dean: 'You collapsed again. Your pulse is a bit weak so I want you to stay lying down until it gets stronger. I don't think we'll be going to HQ today. Maybe tomorrow, we'll see how you are.'

Heidi: 'No, we have to go today.'

Dean: 'Heidi, you collapsed. You need to stay at home and recover -'

Heidi: 'How long was I out?'

Dean: 'I'd say just under a minute, give or take several seconds.'

Heidi: 'Exactly, I wasn't unconscious for long. I feel fine now. I don't need time to recover. I do need to go in to HQ because if I don't do it today then I won't be able to. I won't be able to walk in and see everybody and see the concern on their faces and feel totally guilty for keeping secrets from them, my family. It has to be today. I'm ready to do this today.'

Dean: 'Okay. But the first sign that its too much for you then we're coming home. Deal?'

Heidi: 'Deal.'

Dean: 'I don't want you to get stressed about having to see anybody, or about talking to Chase either. I know that I may have insisted on you doing this but trust me. By doing it it will be easier when it comes to the rest of the team.'

Heidi: 'That's the thing. I've been thinking about it and I don't think I can. I can't tell him. Not yet. I can't tell him, please don't be angry, but I can't. Don't make me, Dean please.'

Her breathing started becoming labored and she found it hard to breathe properly. Dean saw her struggling and realized she was at the beginning of a panic attack. He quickly rolled her onto her side to help more oxygen get into her lungs, and started talking to her in a soothing way, trying to calm her down. She grabbed hold of his hand and he saw her eyes begging with him to help her. In that moment Dean realized that he had gone too far. To ask her to tell Chase was too much for her and he hadn't thought about her in this decision at all.

He had been focused on Chase and wanting him to know what happened in order to make sure he didn't blame himself. Chase had a tendency to feel guilty about everything even if it wasn't his fault, and he wasn't going to let Chase feel guilty over what had happened to Heidi when the person who should be feeling guilty was Lara. Heidi had told Dean what had happened because he had practically forced it out of her mouth. Now he was doing it again. It was too soon for her to go and tell anybody else about her ordeal, and in the moment Dean saw the pleading look in Heidi's eyes, he also realized that she hadn't even dealt with telling him about it.

As the panic attack subsided and Heidi relaxed, Dean decided that Heidi shouldn't have to and wasn't going to tell Chase what happened to her. It wasn't going to help her get through it, and if she continued to have panic attacks just thinking about telling people, she wasn't ready to actually tell people yet. But Dean was going to talk Chase himself, and make sure without telling him directly what happened to Heidi, that none of it was his fault and Heidi didn't need or want him blaming himself. She needed him to be strong for her and be there as her friend and brother if and when she needed him.

When Heidi had recovered and was able to sit up Dean told her his plan and apologized to her for pushing her so hard.

Dean: 'I should have never asked you to do that and it wasn't fair of me. I promise that next time I'll let it be your choice first and won't pressure you to do what I want you to do.'

Heidi: 'You were looking out for Chase. I can't blame you for that. And I want you to understand that if I thought I could handle it I would tell him. But its similar to the situation with Lara; I have to look after myself first and deal with everything before I can talk about it freely with anybody else. The wounds are still  
too fresh and they need to heal so that I am strong enough to stand up for myself and let everybody know that the person who did this didn't win. I did. And don't think you forced me to tell you either. I chose to do that. I was ready to tell the person I trust the most in this world because I knew he could help me. I knew you could help me. So now that's out of the way, can we leave it alone?'

Dean: 'Yeah, we can do that.'

Heidi: 'By the way, I'm still going in to HQ today.'

Dean: 'I thought so. I'm not going to try and talk you out of it again, I already lost that argument once. We'll give it half an hour, have some quiet time, and then we'll go. Sound okay.'

Heidi: 'Sure. But is that quiet time for me or you?'

Dean: 'Very funny.'

Heidi: 'I'm just saying, you looked very white before. I wasn't sure if I was going to be the only fainting today.'

Dean: 'I'm fine. However I may need some quiet time to recover from the scare you gave me. Next time you feel dizzy again, sit down and immediately and call me so I can be there at least.'

Heidi: 'I will. Sorry for scaring you.'

They both smiled and Dean helped Heidi to stand up. When she was steady on her feet he walked with her down the hallway into the kitchen where she sat down at the table. Dean got both of them a glass of water and tried to act normal in front of Heidi so as not to reveal how jittery he felt. Truth be told, if he hadn't been the only one there to help her then he probably would have fainted himself. He was so worried about her and terrified that something would happen to her, again, that the more these things happened, the closer he was to losing his marbles and freaking out every time she was out of his site.

However he kept it together for Heidi's sake, knowing that she needed him to be strong for her and help her get through this. And he knew that by doing just that he would help himself as well.


	6. Chapter 6

When Heidi and Dean arrived at HQ, Chase was the first one to spot them and raced over to Heidi, continuing to send silent prayers up to God that she was okay. The others quickly noticed and joined Chase in running over to Dean and Heidi, Heidi getting hugs off of everyone, including Lara, and so she had to try hard to not let her resentment toward Lara show in front of them all. Instead she embraced Lara back but pulled away sooner than she had with anyone else. It was a little awkward around Jordan as well, but Heidi found it hard to resist his baby brown eyes, and upon seeing how much pain his eyes revealed she knew he was genuinely upset for her.

After everybody had gotten their time with Heidi and had left her alone for enough time to sit down before they surrounded her again, Dean had quickly talked to Michelle about Heidi coming back to work and answered her questions concerning whether Heidi was ready or not and whether she was well enough. He told Michelle about the hospital visit but nothing else, just like he promised Heidi. When Michelle was satisfied and cleared Heidi to return to work on light duties only, Dean decided it was time to tackle Chase. Everybody had gone back to what they were doing before Dean and Heidi arrived, so Dean quietly told Heidi where he was going in case she needed him and then caught Chase's eye, silently indicating that he needed to talk to him privately. Understanding what Dean meant, Chase got up and followed him downstairs, the whole time still thanking God that Heidi was safe and okay.

Dean: 'Michelle told me how worried you were about Heidi.'

Chase: 'We were all worried.'

Dean: 'I know. But she said that you in particular were taking it badly. She mentioned that you've barely said a word since you found out. The Chase I know usually can't keep his mouth shut.'

Chase: 'I had things on my mind. It was nothing, I'm fine.'

Dean: 'That's what Heidi told me when I talked to her about her collapse and what had been happening with her recently. She was definitely not fine. And neither are you.'

Chase: 'What do you want me to say? That when Michelle and Lachie took me into her office to 'have a chat' I instantly knew it was about Heidi and that it was something bad? That the reason I've barely said a word is because since they told me what happened I've been praying and begging God to keep her safe and not let anything happen to her. I asked him to let me die before he even thought of taking Heidi away from me. If I lost her, I don't know what would happen, what I would do.'

When he finished speaking Chase sat down on one of the benches in the locker room and let the tears he was holding back fall down his face. He couldn't believe he'd just told Dean all of that. He might as well have said he would commit suicide over Heidi. How messed up was that? She was his best friend, his sister and the way he was acting people would think he was madly in love with her. His love wasn't to do with wanting a relationship with her or wanting to sleep with her. No way whatsoever. No, his love was driven by the fact that they had been best friends since the first day she started working at rescue, and it had been just as long since he and Dean adopted Heidi as their sister. To him losing Heidi would be exactly like losing Dean or Lachie, and he would have exactly the same reaction if either of them were in Heidi's position as well.

Upon seeing his little brother so upset Dean knew he had to tell Chase some of what happened, if not all of it, just to let him know that even though this terrible thing had happened to her, Heidi was okay. He saw for himself just how okay she was, and Dean would tell him that she was only going to keep on improving, especially with all the support she would have from both of them.

Dean: 'Chase, I need you to listen to me for a minute. The reason why Heidi collapsed a few days ago is because something horrible happened to her. It was about a month ago, and it happened because Lara wasn't a good friend to Heidi. She let her down and it ended up hurting Heidi a lot.'

Chase: 'What happened?'

Dean: 'I can't tell you the exact details right now, because I'm respecting Heidi's wishes to not tell anybody just yet. But as you can see she's okay. She's been to the doctor who has given her the all clear and she'll be fine. However you can't tell anybody this. Not yet. It's Heidi's choice, and it's also Heidi's choice about when she wants to talk to Lara and Jordan about what happened. After all, this wouldn't have happened it it wasn't for them.'

Chase: 'Wait, Jordan? What's he got to do with this?'

Dean: 'Lara said she would drive Jordan and Heidi home after you had all been out for drinks. Heidi went to the bathroom and when she came back they were gone. She watched them drive away when she went outside looking for them. That is what led to what happened to her.'

Chase: 'What! Why would Lara do that?'

Dean: 'Jordan as well.'

Chase: 'No, Jordan would never do that, especially to Heidi. Besides he wasn't even in the car.'

Dean: 'What do you mean?'

Chase: 'That night, I remember when you mean now. Lachie had left his wallet at the bar and Jordan found it. He told Lara he was going to get a cab and return it that night instead of waiting till the next day. Lara said fine so he left. He made sure Lara was still taking Heidi home and she was. He would never have just left if he knew what Lara had done.'

Dean; 'Well that will make Heidi relieved. She was so upset about them doing that to her; it will make her feel better knowing that Jordan wasn't involved. However she did say that he and Lara were laughing at something when she went into work the following day. She said they were laughing about what they did.'

Chase: 'No, no, they weren't laughing at her. Vince had told Jordan a funny story and he was trying to tell Lara while laughing at the same time. They both ended up hysterical over it.'

With that all cleared up Dean was relieved himself, let alone how Heidi was going to feel. He was happy that he wasn't going to have a problem with Jordan as well as Lara. After making sure that Chase was okay and understood why Dean had to be vague about what happened to Heidi, he suggested they go back upstairs and join the others so he could find out how the training course went.

Chase: 'It was terrible. A nightmare we couldn't wake up from. Lara and Jordan were arguing the entire time about sharing a tent and I'm pretty sure Vince was actually trying to kill us. Did you know he made us climb Ocean's Peak and then abseil down it? It was brutal. Coming down, you might as well have thought you would land in the ocean below instead of on the cliff face. There was barely enough room for all of us. If one of us fell over the cliff then the rest of us could have gone over as well. I'm telling you, I'm not usually scared of heights or cliffs, but that was enough to have me wishing for no cliff rescues for at least a year. You and Heidi were lucky.'

Dean: 'It's not meant to be easy Chase, why do you think Vince runs it? Anyway, you want to be scared of heights and cliffs? Vince once made me and his old team climb Ocean's Peak three times in one day, including once in the dark. The next day he made us climb the ravine nicknamed Death's canyon, for no particular reason. The name does mean exactly what it suggests by the way.'

Chase: 'Well, I'll be sure not to tell Vince that it was a walk in the park. There's no way you'd get me anywhere near a ravine nicknamed Death's canyon. How many people would have to die there anyway for it to gain a name like that?'

Dean: 'In the last ten years over three hundred people have tried climbing it, and only around thirty ever made it out alive.'

Chase paled after hearing that. Dean smiled and stood up, Chase following him still feeling rather sick at the thought of how many people actually died there.

Dean: 'Don't worry Chasie. I'm sure you won't have to go anywhere near Death's canyon. Well, as long as you don't get on Vince's bad side while out on a training course. I'll never forgive Michelle for that.'


	7. Chapter 7

Four months later, everybody was still in the dark about what had happened to Heidi. She had gotten better - her injuries healed and her bruises faded, and she also became more like her old self. Dean was there every day for her to talk to and was a great help in keeping everything a secret. The team all knew that Dean knew what was wrong with Heidi but nobody said anything. They understood that until Heidi was ready, neither she nor Dean would reveal even the tiniest detail about it.

Nobody knew about the little but of information that Dean had given Chase either. He never said anything, and nobody asked him because they didn't suspect he knew anything. However the team still wondered what could have happened to Heidi, what serious event could have made them both so secretive, but nobody shared their guesses out loud. In fact nobody talked about it anymore. To anybody looking in from the outside, the whole topic had been dealt with, and people had forgotten and moved on. However, they may have moved on, but it was far from forgotten.

Dean had spoken to Lara, despite him telling Chase that it was Heidi's choice as to when she would speak to her. He could tell that Heidi was still struggling to understand why Lara left her at the bar, even though she had told him she was fine. So he decided to try and give Heidi some peace of mind, to this part of her troubles at least.

He had approached her one morning when everybody else bar them, Vince and Michelle were out on a rescue. They were paired together that day and since they hadn't worked together for a while Michelle thought it would be a good idea for them to stay at HQ and talk to each other, 'clear the air' is what she said. Dean knew then that she had noticed that Dean had been, not particularly nasty to Lara but a little off with her as he liked to refer to it as. So Dean thought that if they were here to talk to each other, then talk he would.

He asked if they could go somewhere private, and when she agreed he walked off and headed outside to sit on the wall by the car park of HQ. Lara followed, glad that she and Dean were finally going to talk but nervous as to what they would be talking about. When she sat beside him Dean started off the conversation so that Lara would know that he was in charge of this and that this talk was serious.

Dean: 'I want you to know that I haven't been off with you because of something you did to me. Rather it was something you did to Heidi.'

Lara: 'Okay. I'm confused Dean. What could I have done to Heidi to make you so angry with me?'

Dean: 'I'm not angry. I was at first. But now I'm just confused and disappointed. At you. I try not to be, I try and be civil to you here at work, but just watching you be so happy all the time and so completely ignorant to the pain you caused Heidi without even remembering what you did makes me feel sick.'

Lara: 'Dean, what are you talking about?'

At this point Dean could tell that Lara was scared at what he was saying, and secretly he was pleased. She deserved to be after what had happened to Heidi. But at the same time he was truly sorry to be making her feel this way. However this was the only way he could explain to her what she had done to Heidi without actually telling her anything.

Dean: 'Five months ago. At a bar. You left Heidi.'

He summed it up with less than ten words. He watched as she listened to what he said and the pieces slowly started fitting together in her head.

Lara: 'That's what this was about? A joke?'

Dean: 'What the hell are you talking about, a joke! You think that what you did was a joke! You left Heidi alone at a bar when you said you would take her home. You left her scared, vulnerable and upset, and you're talking about jokes!'

Lara: 'It was meant to be a joke! Yes I said I would take her home. Jordan went to Lachie's with his wallet so it was just the two of us and I thought it would be funny. I was planning on driving round the corner and waiting for Heidi to call me. When she did I would drive back round and pick her up. Only she never called, so I thought she had maybe been annoyed at me and called a taxi instead. The next day I guessed she was still upset about it and thought by the end of the day she would have cooled down. Heidi never takes jokes so seriously. I never thought that she would be so upset by it. I'm sorry.'

Lara really was sorry. Dean could see it. She was pleading with him to believe her and forgive her, but Dean was still confused as to why she never said anything.

Lara: 'I didn't tell her because by then she had already begun acting strange. I forgot all about it, thinking there was something more serious going on and thinking that telling her about a joke probably wasn't the best idea. I had completely forgotten about it till now. Dean I am so sorry, I didn't mean to upset her, or you.'

Dean: 'It's not me you need to apologize to, but. . . .I do accept your apology. However you do need to speak to Heidi and tell her what you told me. She was really upset, she thought that she had done something to make you mad at her and you left her as a way of punishing her. She did think it was a joke, but when you never came back for her and never called her to see if she was alright, that's when she started thinking she had upset you in some way.'

Lara: 'It was never meant to end up this way! I swear, it was just an innocent joke. I messed up big time. Heidi was probably already upset because of whatever is going on with her, and I made it worse. I really am sorry.'

At this Lara became really upset, and seeing how genuinely sorry she was about the whole incident, only meaning for it to be a joke, Dean comforted her. When she regained her composure Dean told her that he would speak to Heidi when she got back from the rescue so she would know that Lara was going to talk to her. It was important, he said that Lara tell Heidi herself, as it would help to mend fences between them. It is a sign of true remorse when you can admit to your wrongdoings yourself instead of having someone else do it for you. In this case that someone else being Dean. Lara knew what he meant, and agreed to it.

By the end of the day that whole situation was put behind them, never to be brought up again. Things had kept on improving from there as well. Eventually the team had started to realize that Heidi was okay and was going to keep on being okay, and had stopped watching her like a group of hawks watching their prey. Michelle had told them that they were going to make things worse if they kept treating her like porcelain and said that they needed to stop walking on egg shells around her. She was going to be fine, and they were only going to upset her if she knew that they were treating her any differently than they had before.

Heidi had also started going out on rescues full time again, which Dean was especially proud of her for. He had asked to be partnered with her for a while so he could keep an eye on her, and so that had made it easier for her to be go out on rescues. The day that Dean had spoken to Lara had been the first day where Heidi had gone out without him and she had done fine, which Dean was very relieved at. He was confident that from that point Heidi was only going to keep on improving.


	8. Chapter 8

Ever since the day that Dean had told Heidi how proud of her he was, about her being able to move forward with her life since the night she was attacked and how she was able to forgive Lara for what she did, Heidi felt guilty.

She felt guilty for lying to him. She had genuinely been able to forgive Lara and was glad that that was one problem cleared up and out of the way. She had missed having Lara to talk to, and so having her there again to have 'girly chats' with, and talk to her about things she couldn't tell Dean gave her a sense of relief, especially due to the events of the past couple of weeks.

However the reason Heidi felt guilty was because she hadn't really been moving forward since that night. She had felt better when her injuries had healed and there was no physical evidence left of what had happened, but the problems that she was having were due to her knowing the identity of who it was that attacked her. And also knowing that for the past four months the team knew that something had happened that only her and Dean knew about. It really hurt her to have to lie to them, but she knew it would hurt more if they all knew what had happened and who it was, especially because they had all known him when he had lived here in Sydney before he moved away. Heidi still felt guilty about not being able to tell Dean, but she knew it would only create more problems that she would have to deal with.

She supposed it wouldn't matter now though. It wasn't like Dean was all that bothered anymore, especially when it came to her. This brought her back to how she felt relieved that she had Lara to talk to now, since Dean hadn't been there for her at all during the past couple of weeks.

Heidi knew it had been tough recently. They all knew, the whole team. Yet Dean was acting like he was the only one affected by it. He hadn't thought about the team at all and had been going out on rescues solo, not even waiting for a partner to follow him. He was taking on all the responsibility himself and took everything that happened personally. He had also been exceptionally angry and would viciously tell anybody who spoke to him to go away, even Heidi. She had started staying over at Lachie and Chase's for a couple of nights because she was scared of seeing Dean, terrified over how he would treat her.

There had been an unusually high number of rescues over these past two weeks that had started to stretch rescue very thin and so everyone was now working double, and sometimes even triple shifts. To add to the strain the death toll average per week had risen from an average of two to an average of six. Last week from Monday to Sunday they had been to sixteen rescues and lost eight patients. Nobody in their whole career in rescue had ever had that many rescues per week, or that many deaths in three months, let alone a week.

This was why Dean had become the guy from hell recently, and everybody understood how he was feeling. But that wasn't an excuse for him to act the way he was. Due to all of this happening, Heidi hadn't been able to talk to Dean about anything that she was struggling with. She had been talking to Lara about how Dean's behavior had started to really affect her and how she wanted him to talk to her so she could help him. But she hadn't been able to talk to Lara about anything else, because Lara still didn't know anything that had happened. This is why she needed Dean, and wished that he would just go back to the guy everybody once knew, the guy who was always there for her and could help her in any way she needed him to.


	9. Chapter 9

When Heidi came into work with Lachie and Chase Lara saw just how much stress Heidi was under with this whole thing with Dean, and how much he was putting her through. Before she had a chance to sit down, Lara pulled her away into the kitchen that was off to the side of the bullpen and told her to spill everything. Heidi understood and because Dean hadn't arrived yet she allowed herself to become vulnerable. Tears made their way down her face and before she said a word Lara pulled her into a hug and told her everything would be okay.

Heidi: 'Will it? Dean won't speak to anyone, and when we try he gets angry. I want the old Dean back so much, and I'm scared of what will happen if this behavior continues. He could really hurt someone, and I'm worried about what would happen if he did.'

Dean: 'You think Dean could end up hurting somebody?'

Heidi: 'If things don't change soon, yes. I'm scared that it might end up reaching that point. And if he does he might not come back from that. You know how he gets when he has to hurt someone deliberately to help them. It kills him. What if he hurt someone just because he lashed out? I'm terrified that that someone might be one of us. I know that he would rather die than hurt us, so what would happen if in a fit of anger he did?'

Lara thought about what Heidi had said and knew what she was saying was right. Dean would never recover if he hurt somebody here just because he was angry. They wouldn't be able to help him get through that. But they could help him now. Before it got to that point.

However Lara wasn't just concerned about what Heidi was saying. She was concerned about Heidi herself. By the looks of it she hadn't been sleeping very well, and she looked quite sick, probably from the stress Lara decided.

Lara: 'Heidi how long have you been feeling sick?'

Heidi: 'Not long. A couple of days. Its nothing, I'm fine. It's because I'm worried about Dean.'

Lara: 'You don't say. Have you told Lachie or Chase?'

Heidi: 'No, its nothing worth bothering them over. They would just worry and the person they should be worrying about at the moment is Dean.'

Lara: 'That doesn't mean you should neglect yourself. You should take a few days off and get better. Let us deal with Dean. You shouldn't have to suffer because of him.'

Heidi: 'I can't. If he knows I'm sick it will be just another reason for him to get angry over. One less person to help on rescues could be the difference between a patient living and a patient dying. I'll be okay.'

Lara: 'If you won't go home then you will take it easy. I'll get Michelle to pair us together so I can help you if you need it. I would say she can pair someone else with Dean but he hasn't exactly wanted a partner recently. We really need to sort him out, quickly.'

Heidi: 'I know. But how do we do that if he won't even talk to us?'

Two Hours Later

The team had been called out to a multiple car MVA on one of the country roads leading into the bush. The call came in ten minutes after Dean arrived, not even giving him chance to sit down at his desk. His reaction as you can expect was grim to say the least. He swore multiple times and with a single blow knocked half of the items off his desk before storming down to the trucks. Michelle told Lachie and Chase to go with him, if they managed to get to the truck before he drove off, and then told Lara and Heidi to take the other truck with Jordan. Vince and her would follow in her car.

On the way to the scene Lara had told Heidi that if at any time she needed to stop or rest for a few minutes to let her know and she would cover for her. She also told her that Michelle had said that Heidi wasn't to work on a patient alone just in case, and Heidi didn't argue with that. She knew it was too important to make sure that patient safety was upheld and if she messed up because she wasn't one hundred per-cent she would never forgive herself, and neither would Dean.

After that was sorted, everybody was silent for the rest of the journey to the scene. But Lara couldn't stop thinking about Heidi and Dean, and how she shouldn't have to be scared of him especially as they live together. She wished that she could help in some way, but there was nothing she could do until Dean reached breaking point. Lara hoped that would happen fast because she knew that even though Heidi was talking to her about Dean, there was something Heidi wasn't telling her. That something was probably to do with the secret that Heidi and Dean shared. Whatever it was that Heidi was keeping to herself was something she needed to talk to Dean about, and with him acting like a jackass recently, she obviously hadn't been able to talk about it.

Lara had had to stop her thoughts there when they had arrived at the scene.


	10. Chapter 10

As everybody packed up the rescue gear after all of the patients had been taken to the hospital, Lara couldn't wait to get back to HQ and neither could the rest of the team. Everybody was happy with how everything had ended eventually, hoping that now life could hopefully return to normal. Or as normal as it had been six weeks ago.

When they had arrived at the scene everything had started out alright, with Dean acting a little like his old self in terms of being the leader at rescues. He had been civil to the team and hadn't raised his voice for the duration of the rescue. Until he learned about Heidi and Lara's patient.

The accident wasn't actually too bad, mostly it was a case of freeing people from their cars and getting them to the hospital to be checked out by a doctor. There were some broken bones, concussions, and one patient with suspected internal injuries but other then that there was nothing too serious. Apart from Heidi and Lara's patient.

When Dean had given them their orders to deal with the second black car that had hit the barriers, Heidi and Lara had rushed over to quickly assess the patient and report back whether he was a green, orange or red. Just taking one look at him Lara had known that he was a red, and had also known that he wouldn't make it out of the car alive. But Heidi had been persistent and pleaded with Lara to at least try, knowing how Dean would react if he died. Lara could see the fear in her eyes, just thinking about what Dean would do if the patient died, and knew that this had to stop. She wasn't going to let Dean shout and swear and verbally attack her and Heidi after their patient died. He was going to die whether they helped him or not and Lara was not going to just lie down and take another rant from Dean over it.

Lara let Heidi do what she could to try and save the patient. She helped start an IV, put an oxygen mask on him and put a spinal collar around his neck to stabilize him. She then watched as Heidi took hold of his hand and started praying for him, asking God to save him but if it was his time to die then to accept this man into his kingdom and give him peace for eternity.

Heidi was quiet for a few minutes and then turned around and with tears in her eyes said to Lara that he had gone. She said she wanted to stay with him until he was taken away, because she didn't want him to be alone and they hadn't been able to contact his family just yet because they didn't know his name.

Lara gave her a sad smile and tried to push away the sob that was threatening to come out. When she had managed to compose herself she said she would go and tell Vince and Michelle that he was dead and see if the others needed any help. Sh would come back to Heidi when they were ready to take him away. Heidi just nodded, now too upset to speak.

When Lara eventually got back to Heidi she had been helping her prepare to extricate the man from the car and hand him over to the ambos to take him to the hospital morgue, when she noticed Vince and Michelle making their way over to Dean. She knew they were about to tell him about their patient and was ready to take a stand against him when the fireworks started.

It wasn't long before that happened. As soon as Dean found out he turned around with a look of hatred on his face and made his way angrily over to Heidi and Lara. Lara saw him coming and stood up, moving in front of Heidi to protect her, ready to go head to head with Dean.

Dean: 'You stupid incompetent useless people! What the hell did you do! This was a simple rescue with no serious injuries and you still manage to mess it up. How bad do you have to be at your job to kill someone with injuries as minor as broken bones? Ha, what am I saying its you, of course it could happen!'

Lara: 'Shut the hell up you arrogant selfish jackass! Who the hell do you think you are speaking to! This man didn't die from broken bones! He was practically dead when we got to him. Have you seen his head! He has a hole the size of a football in the back of his skull! Multiple internal injuries! He was brain dead the minute the accident happened. There is nothing we could have done for him and you have no right saying we are incompetent at our job or useless. You have been like this for nearly three weeks now and I am not going to take it anymore.

Yes Dean there have been a huge number of accidents recently. And yes there is a higher than usual death rate. But that isn't our fault. It's summer, there are people everywhere, both people who live here and tourists and you know just as well as I do that this can cause more accidents due to more cars on the road. People will be having a good time and not paying attention, and so there will be more rescues but that is what we are here for. To help those people, not throw a tantrum and shout and swear every time we get a call-out. You are the the leader of this team, and as the leader you should be looking after your team. You should be making sure we are alright after each rescue, offering us support if we need it and somebody to talk to. You shouldn't be taking on the responsibility yourself and blaming yourself for everything. You should be there for us, just like we have been there for you the entire time and you have just been shunning us.

And as for Heidi? You need to seriously rethink your priorities when it comes to her. You have been so self-involved recently you have not even realized how badly she has been suffering. She's hurting and she needs you and where have you been? Not there for her, that's where. Did you even notice that she's been staying at Lachie and Chase's for the past few days because she is so scared of you. She is terrified that she will do something wrong and you will shout at her, just like you did today, and because of that she had to leave to feel safe again. You need to think about everything I have just said and sort yourself out, if not for us or yourself, for Heidi. Because she needs you, she needs her big brother, and she needs help now.'

After Lara finished speaking there was silence. Dean stood there staring at her like she just slapped him across the face. Looking around at everybody else he realized that what Lara had just said was what they were all thinking. Thinking back to what he had said he knew he had made a huge mistake. The worst thing though that he kept thinking was how could he have done that to Heidi. Lachie and Chase stood next to each other not able to move as they had never seen somebody stand up to Dean like that before. Vince was shocked at seeing Lara so fired up like that. She was usually so calm and the rational one out of them all, but just then she certainly showed a different side to herself. Michelle stood there feeling proud of Lara, knowing she had just done something that nobody else probably would have ever been brave enough to do. Even the ambos and police who were still on the scene were stood silently looking on at the events that had just unfolded. The only person who wasn't there was Heidi.


	11. Chapter 11

As Dean walked toward the trucks he could make out Heidi's figure sat in the back of the truck that she, Lara and Jordan came in. As he got closer he could see that she was just sat there with tears running down her cheeks. At that moment though he saw her look toward him and upon seeing him, her expression turned to fear and she quickly fumbled with the door latch. When she got the door open she ran round the truck and headed into the woods that surrounded the accident scene.

Dean's heart broke as he stopped walking and watched as she ran into the woods, knowing that she was running away from him. When had things gotten so bad? He knew that it was going to take a long time for him to make it up to Heidi for everything he had done. He started walking again, going slowly toward the woods to find Heidi and hopefully talk to her.

He had already done all his talking to the rest of the team back at the scene before he came to find Heidi. He had made Lara stay behind, telling her that this was something he needed to do alone. In return she had made him promise that if Heidi didn't want to talk or wanted him to leave her alone then he was to do just that. He was to come back and Lara would go and make sure she was alright. Dean agreed to that knowing he had no ground to stand on in this decision. He had a long way to go with making things right with the team, and the way he could start was by accepting that for now Lara knew what she was talking about when it came to Heidi. After all Lara was the one who had been there for Heidi for the past few weeks, not him, and he knew he owed a lot to Lara for that. Luckily for him the team quickly forgave him as long as he promised to never act like that again, which he did.

But in his mind that wasn't enough. He would be making this right for a long time, especially to Heidi. He kept thinking over what he had said to her and Lara about the dead patient and still couldn't come to terms with the fact that he had said that. Never in a million years would he have ever said that, to anybody, and yet today, not even an hour ago he had done just that. Lara had said that it was okay, that she knew it was his 'evil side' (as she called it) talking. But he still couldn't help thinking about what if she was lying, what if it affected her more than she was letting on? But then he would think that he knows Lara. And he knows that if she did feel that way she would have told him, because she never lied to people to make themselves feel better. It just wasn't her style.

However Heidi, she was another story. He had no idea how what he said would have affected her. He would have to make sure she knew that he didn't mean it and hope that she understood that. Heidi knew him better than anybody, even Chase and Lachie. So hopefully she would know that he would never say anything like that normally.

As Dean walked through the woods trying to find Heidi, he thought about what Lara had said about Heidi suffering and about her needing him to help her. She didn't tell him what she meant by that, but before he came to find Heidi she had lead him away to a more private space to tell him that something was going on with her and she knew it had to do with his and Heidi's 'secret', as Heidi wouldn't talk to her about it, but that she had mentioned before that she needed Dean because he was the only one who understood.

That made him feel really guilty, knowing that Heidi desperately needed him and he wasn't there for her. Something serious could be going on with her and he had been so ignorant to her that he wouldn't have known until something happened. He knew that if Heidi would let him talk to her and forgave him then he would need to sit down with her at some point soon and talk to her. He would tell her that she could talk to him about anything and this time he would be there to listen to her and help her.

As he thought about that he caught site of something move up ahead of him on the left side, and halting his train of thought in order to concentrate on Heidi he moved forward cautiously. When he reached Heidi's position he moved forward a little more and then stopped and crouched down to her level. She was sitting by a tree with her knees up by her chest in a defensive manner, effectively guarding herself from him. While she watched his every move, Dean spoke softly to her, telling her that he wouldn't come any closer until she was ready and asking her if it was alright if he could speak to her. She didn't say anything but gave a slight nod of her head which gave him permission. Dean then sat down and prepared to give the hardest apology he would ever have to make.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean: 'Heidi, I am so so sorry. For Everything. Especially for what I said before. I never should have said it because I didn't mean it. I was angry and I took it out on you and Lara. That patient died because of his injuries, not because of you and I'm sorry for ever implying you were anything other than brilliant at your job. I know that I have no right to ask for your forgiveness and you don't have to give it to me, but I want you to know that I am truly sorry.'

Dean stopped for a moment as Heidi listened to what he said. She didn't say anything, but she slowly took her knees away from her chest and moved into the same sitting position as Dean was in. This told him that she was listening to him and was okay with him continuing.

Dean: 'I am also really sorry that I haven't been here for you recently. I left you to deal with everything by yourself and I shouldn't have done that. I have been selfish, really selfish and haven't thought about anybody but myself and I know that I was wrong to do that. I should have been here for you, and should have known that something was wrong. But instead I was ignorant and I have left you to suffer. I want that to change. If you will let me I want to be here for you now. I want to help you, and I want you to know that you can tell me anything you want and I will listen.

I am your brother, recently I haven't been doing a very good job at that, but that will change. I am back, and I promise I am not going anywhere again. I know that there are some problems you are having that you couldn't tell Lara about, because she doesn't know what happened to you. And I also know that the stress you have been under is making you sick. I know that I have contributed to that stress and I am going to change that. I want to help you with these problems, and I want to help you get better, if you'll let me.

The last thing I ever want is to lose my baby sister. I can't lose you and I am scared of that happening. I would do anything to protect you, and it hurts me so much knowing that I am responsible for making you feel scared and lonely and like you can't trust me again. But you can. If you'll let me I will show you that.'

It was only when he finished talking that he felt the tears falling down his cheeks. He wiped them away but they kept coming. He couldn't look at her anymore without seeing all the emotions in her face that he knew he was responsible for. He put his head in his hands and tried to stop the tears, thinking it wasn't right for him to be crying when Heidi was the one who was hurt. He tried to think back to when things went so wrong, thinking he could have stopped all this from happening. He could have stopped himself from hurting someone he loved so much, the one person in the world who meant more to him than anything.

He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't heard Heidi get up and move toward him. He only knew she had moved when he felt her hand on his shoulder. He looked up and caught her as she fell into his arms and into the comfort they both needed so much at that moment. She then said three words that Dean thought he would never hear from her again, let alone felt he deserved.

Heidi: 'I trust you.'

At that Dean started to cry properly, not caring how weak he looked because he knew it was okay to show his emotions in front of Heidi. When he felt a wetness on his t-shirt he realized that Heidi had also started to cry. They sat there wrapped in each others arms for what felt like forever, both of them never wanting to let go in case they lost each other again.

When Dean and Heidi eventually became re-aware of their surroundings and of the fact that they were still at a rescue site (a fact they had both laughed at considering that they had been crying and anybody could have seen them), Dean noticed that Heidi looked sicker then Lara had told him. Realizing this he knew that everything that had happened had affected her a lot more seriously then she had let Lara believe. He was going to have to keep an eye on her so that she didn't become a lot worse over the next couple of days. If they had to make another emergency visit to the hospital the team would demand to know what was going on and he knew that he and Heidi wouldn't be able to say no this time without the team refusing to take that as the answer. He was going to make sure that didn't happen. He was going to protect her as much as he could until she was ready. Judging by what Lara had told him about Heidi needing to talk to him desperately he knew she certainly wasn't ready yet.

Heidi was the first one to speak when they both found their voices again.

Heidi: 'Promise me you will never shut yourself off like that again. I missed you so much and really wanted to help you. I am always here for you, you know. Next time remember that you can talk to me. And I want you to know that these people who have died on rescues recently, they died because it was their time, not because you did anything wrong. (Dean looked at her like she had just read his mind.) Don't look at me like that. I know you. You blamed yourself and you shouldn't have. Who dies and who lives has got nothing to do with you. That's God's decision. He takes people for a reason, and all the people who have died, they died for a reason that we aren't meant to know. That's part of God's plan and we can't expect to know what he has planned for us. That's what many people don't understand, that we shall never know God's will until the time that we enter his kingdom in heaven and await our judgement. Those people, they were destined to die because God had something else in mind for them. Remember that, and know that in the end you haven't failed if patients die. You have let destiny take its course.'

Dean: 'How did I ever deserve to have someone like you in my life?'

Heidi: 'That's another thing God does. He works in mysterious ways.'

At that they both smiled and hugged again. When they broke apart they decided it was time to go back to the trucks before the team sent a search party after them. As Dean stood up he felt Heidi pull on his arms to support herself as she struggled to get to her feet on her own. He immediately crouched down and lifted her up so she could stand and then supported her as they walked out of the woods.

Dean: 'I know that I haven't exactly been paying much attention to you lately, but I can see that you aren't coping very well. I noticed before that you really don't look very well. I'm worried about how sick you might be because of all this, and because of me. So what do you say about this. How about we go home and I can run you a bath and check you over to see how sick you are. Then tonight, when it is just the two of us we can sit on the sofa together and you can tell me what's been on your mind recently. Does that sound like a plan?'

Heidi: 'Yeah. That sounds like a good plan. By the way, I don't mean to worry you but can we stop for a minute. I think I'm about to pass out.'

At that Dean stopped walking immediately and sat Heidi down on the ground. She leant against him and he could see her trying to keep herself conscious. After a few minutes she was fine again, and Dean decided the best thing to do was to get her home straight away. She said she was okay to keep walking, and luckily they were back to the trucks five minutes later. As they came out of the trucks they both saw the team waiting for them and Heidi stopped.

Heidi: 'I just want to go home. I don't want them asking what we talked about, that's private, just between us. Can you get Lara?'

Dean called Lara over and once she was with them Heidi told her what she had just told Dean.

Dean: 'Can you tell them something that will get us out of here quickly. She's really not well and I can't be bothered answering any questions right now.'

Lara: 'I've got you covered. Just walk with me, smile and head straight for the truck. I'll ride back with the boys in the other truck and just tell everyone that you've sorted things out but are going home to talk about some other things. Try and help her walk a little straighter so it doesn't like she's totally dependent on you and they hopefully won't notice anything.'

At that the three of them started walking back toward the others who looked happy that Dean and Heidi had sorted everything out. As they got closer Lara started doing a little intervention so Dean could get Heidi into the truck and out of the way. Whatever Lara was saying to the others was working, as nobody was questioning her and everybody looked like they were buying whatever she was saying. When they dispersed back to their respective vehicles Lara walked back over to Dean and told him that Michelle had given them tomorrow off and Chase had offered to drive Dean's car over to his place after work. Dean was grateful to them both, but told Lara that they might need more than tomorrow off depending on how Heidi was feeling. Lara said not to worry about it.

Lara: 'The main thing I want you to do right now is to look after Heidi. Whatever's upsetting her, you need to find out and help her deal with it because we can't lose her again. I won't go back to that month where she completely shut down. I can't handle all of these ups and downs that we have gone through. First Heidi, then you, and now back to Heidi. We certainly don't want you to do this again. What I'm trying to say is. . . . . . .help her. She trusts you more than any of us. And I trust you to look after her. Don't make me rethink that trust.'

Dean: 'I won't. I will look after her, I promise. Oh, and Lara. Thank you. Thank you for everything. You opened my eyes today and made me think about everything that's going on in my life, You helped me sort out my priorities and that means a lot. I won't go back to the person I've been recently. I won't do that to you ever again, and especially not to Heidi.'

Dean and Lara said their goodbyes, and Lara stood and watched as Dean fastened Heidi's seat belt for her, then his own, and drove away. She then turned and headed to the other truck where the boys were waiting for her, thinking how she knew things were looking up and, trusting what Dean said, had faith that now that she had Dean back, Heidi was going to get through whatever it was that had been troubling her for the past five months.


	13. Chapter 13

Back At HQ

Lachie: 'So, do we have our team leader back for good?'

Vince: 'Yeah, I'm not going to put up with him like that a second time, especially if it hurts Heidi again. Wait, it is okay for them to be alone, right?'

Lara: 'Would you guys relax. Yes, Dean is back and he is here to stay. And yes it is safe for them to be alone. He won't hurt Heidi, he never intentionally has.'

Michelle: 'So everything's good now?'

Lara: 'Yes. They have sorted things out together, but there are still some. . . .issues that they have to deal with which is what they are doing right now.'

Michelle: 'How long do you think they will be off?'

Lara: 'I don't know. We just need to give them some time alone, maybe give them a few days, and then we'll know more. But I can promise all of you that Dean and Heidi are fine and we are never going to see that side of Dean again.'

Jordan: 'You know that for sure do you?'

Lara: 'Yes.'

Lachie: 'How?'

Lara: 'Because he promised Heidi. He would never break a promise to her. He would rather kill himself first.'

After she said that everybody fell silent, knowing what Lara had said was right. There had never been a time where Dean had let Heidi down, apart from these past few weeks. Everyone knew that Heidi meant too much to Dean, and he would never break her trust in him, especially not deliberately. Lara knew that in these past weeks Heidi had never said she didn't trust Dean, because it wasn't true. Despite what he had put them all through Heidi still trusted him with her life, and Lara knew that that trust came from a place so deep in her heart that it could never be broken, no matter what happened between them. Dean reciprocated that trust in her, and because of this great relationship they had that was built on so much trust, Lara knew that they could get through anything together, and, this knowledge was the same for all the team members.

The silence was broken by Vince, trying to lighten the mood in the room again so that he could get the team to fill out their reports from today's accident, thinking that he could distract them with their's so they wouldn't notice that he wasn't doing his.

Vince: 'Well, now that everything's fine now and Dean has been re-replaced by his evil clone, I think its time to get some work done around here, maybe starting with some reports.'

Everyone turned to look at him with a glare, hating that he had to ruin the good day that it had become, with mentioning something as horrible and tedious as reports. However they all knew that the faster they completed them, then the faster their lunch break would come, which would give them an opportunity to relax after the morning's events. They knew that they may not have the evening to do this, depending on what the afternoon brought them in terms of rescues. They all had their fingers crossed hoping that there wouldn't be any call-outs, thinking that the bad luck they had been having lately would have disappeared along with Dean's evil clone.

Lachie and Jordan made their way to their desks, moaning at the same time about how much they disliked doing reports, while Lara knew that there was something she needed to do before she could start her report. Making her way over to Chase's desk, she quickly pulled him away before he had a chance to sit down, and said that she needed to talk to him in private. The others watched as she pulled him into the break room, all wondering what it could be about.

Jordan: 'Now that don't look good. I wonder what he's done to deserve a talking to in private?'

Vince: 'Maybe it's about reports. You take so long to do them that maybe Lara's had enough. You two may be next if you don't get started on today's right now.'

Vince's words about reports seemed to go unheard (deliberately), as Lachie continued speculating as if Vince hadn't spoken.

Lachie: 'Maybe he hasn't done anything.'

Jordan: 'You don't just get pulled into the break room for a 'private chat' for nothing. Either he's done something wrong or they're in a secret relationship and they're making out in there.'

At that Lachie, Vince and Michelle all looked at him. They all had an expression of shock on their faces, none of them quite believing what they had just heard.

Michelle: 'Jordan, I, I don't even have an answer to that. You, you, I don't know. I'm going to my office where I won't hear that again. I seriously wonder about you sometimes.'

When Michelle had walked off and entered her office, Lachie and Vince started laughing.

Jordan: 'What? It is a suggestion you know. How do you know that it isn't happening.'

Lachie: 'Jordan mate, Chase and Lara are not in a relationship. That I can promise you.'

Vince: 'I think someone needs a girlfriend. You are spending too much time thinking about other people's love lives, and not enough on your own. If you think that Chase and Lara are together, I don't even know what to say to that. Lara's on a roll at the moment. She's sorted Dean out, she's sorted Dean and Heidi's relationship out, and now she's sorting Chase out. You never know, she may sort you out next. Maybe you two will be 'making out' in the break room tomorrow.'

At that Lachie burst into laughter again, this time tears rolling down his cheeks as Jordan, feeling very embarrassed sat down at his desk and tried to ignore Lachie as he started singing the one song that he knew Jordan hated.

Lachie: 'Jordan and Lara sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.'

Jordan threw an eraser at him that was sat on his desk, and as Lachie ducked to miss it Vince broke it up.

Vince: 'Alright you two, enough. Lachie shut up, Jordan stop throwing things like an infant having a tantrum. There are reports sat in front of you that need starting, so do it. I need a coffee.'

Lachie: 'Hey, if we have to do our reports, you have to do yours too. Or do you want a 'make out' session with Lara as well?'

At that Lachie was in laughter, again, this time Jordan laughing as well, having liked the conversation being turned on Vince now instead. All Vince did was stop dead in his tracks and turn slowly around with a look of hatred and evil in his eyes, watching as Lachie nearly fell out of his chair in hysterics at the suggestion of him and Lara together.

Vince: 'Some women happen to find me attractive, and so what if Lara happens to be one of them.'

That statement was enough to stop Lachie and Jordan laughing, both of them just looking at Vince as he turned back around and continued walking to the kitchen to get his coffee, a smug look of success on his face as he listened to the silence coming from behind him as Lachie and Jordan had horror images running through their minds of Lara and Vince together.


	14. Chapter 14

At the same time that Jordan was making a joke of himself, Lara and Chase were having their own conversation. Lara had been worried about Chase since they had returned from the accident scene, because he had been very quiet. She knew he was a naturally anxious and sensitive person, and he hated it when people on the team fought with each other. This whole thing with Dean had Chase extremely worried about Heidi, Dean and the future of their team. Lara had seen how upset he was when Heidi was staying with them, because if Heidi couldn't even go home anymore it meant that things were really serious. But, at the time Lara had been more concerned about Heidi, and about getting Dean back to normal. She hadn't even thought to take the time to talk to Chase. However, she had thought he would have spoken to them if he wasn't dealing with everything by himself.

Now though, with everything between Dean and Heidi sorted, Lara had the time to talk to Chase and make sure he was okay. She wasn't going to do it in front of everyone as she knew that would embarrass him, and the last thing he wanted was the others thinking he was weak. Nobody would think that, Lara knew, but Chase would think it. So she decided to take the opportunity while the others got busy with reports, to have a private moment with him and make sure that he was in a good place, and offer him an ear if he needed to talk.

Chase: 'So, what do you want to talk about.'

Lara: 'I think you know.'

Chase: 'I'm fine. Dean and Heidi are back, that's all that matters.'

Lara: 'No, it's not. You matter as well Chase.'

Chase: 'What do you mean?'

Lara: 'I'm worried about you. This hasn't been easy for you either, and nobody thought to stop and see if you were okay.'

Chase: 'I told you, I'm fine. Heidi was the main priority, not me. Dean's back, he's fine. He and Heidi have made up. That makes me happy. Now I'm fine.'

Lara: 'Well I don't think you are. I know you Chase. Everyone on the team knows you. You hate it when people fight. Nobody faults you for that. But you need to talk about it and not bottle it up and say you're fine when its obvious you aren't.'

Lara stopped to let Chase think before giving his answer. She hoped Chase would stop fighting her and just let her help him. She wanted him to accept that he wasn't fine, and that admitting you need help isn't something to be ashamed of. Luckily she got what she wanted.

Chase: 'How come you know? That I'm not fine, I mean. Nobody else knows, they haven't noticed. So why did you?'

Lara: 'I noticed when it all started. I just didn't say anything because I was hoping you would go to someone, anyone, and tell them you were struggling. I wanted to help you, but first I wanted you to recognize yourself that you needed help. Then when things got bad with Heidi, I admit that I turned all my attention to her. I didn't forget about you, but Heidi was the one who needed my help right then. However, now, you are the one who needs my help. You didn't admit to yourself that you need help, so now I am intervening and saving you from going down a path of self-destruction. I won't let that happen to you. I am here to listen to you, and help you with anything you need. So use me, please.'

When Lara finished, Chase couldn't help but feel emotional. His mother had left when he was ten years old, and since then he hadn't had anybody in his life to talk to about his emotions. His dad saw talking about your feelings as a sign of weakness, and both his brothers would tease him endlessly about being so emotional when they were children, so he couldn't talk to them. When he joined rescue, there was Michelle, but he had always felt embarrassed over the idea of talking to his boss about his feelings, especially as she was so motherly to the team. That made it worse, as he thought that Dean would think he was replacing his mother with Michelle, and the teasing would begin again.

He had never thought about Lara as being someone he could to talk to. Heidi was always the one he would talk to, everybody knew that. But since they had found out that something wasn't right with Heidi, and Dean had told him that it was something horrible, Chase hadn't felt right about talking to Heidi as he felt like she needed the time to look after herself and not have to deal with his problems on top of her own. So he had kept everything to himself and not told anybody, except for his journal. It was something he had started after his mother had left, something his child psychiatrist had suggested to him. He admitted that it was a good idea as it enabled him to let his emotions out and not keep them locked inside, but he wasn't telling anybody. He had started writing again those five months ago when it had all started. It had helped, but he still missed talking to Heidi.

Anyway, when he brought his mind back to the present and saw Lara waiting for an answer, he decided that it might be good to actually talk about it for a change instead of just writing it down, and saw no harm in it. Lara was willing to listen to him, and he knew that she wouldn't tease him or laugh at him, and she wouldn't tell anyone (just like Heidi hasn't), she wasn't like that.

Chase: 'Okay.'

He walked over to one of the beds and sat down, clasping his hands together and taking a deep breath. When Lara had sat next to him and was ready to listen, he started to talk.

Chase: 'I was scared. Of Dean. When he changed into someone we didn't know, I, I didn't know what to do. He scared me. He wasn't my brother anymore. I have never ever felt that way about Dean before, or Lachie. I have never felt like I couldn't trust them or felt like I hated them. I was never scared of them. I didn't like it, not one bit. I hated that I felt that way about him, but I couldn't help it. Everyday seeing him like that, and watching as he got worse, it made me scared to be in the same room as him. I was terrified to drive to rescues in the same truck as him, worried that his anger would make him crash. It gave me some relief that Lachie was there as well, but I knew that he couldn't do much if we crashed somewhere and were left seriously injured. I don't know how Heidi put up with him at home, if that was how I felt at work.'

Lara: 'Oh Chase. I had no idea. You shouldn't have had to deal with this on your own. You shouldn't have had to feel scared of your own brother.'

Chase: 'I dealt with it. I'm fine now. But Heidi, she had to live with him. We have no idea what he was like with her! What if he hurt her? She wouldn't tell anyone, you know that she is too protective of him, but I can't help but worry about how she had to deal with him.'

Lara: 'She had us Chase. She had us. She could speak to us about him and tell us what she was scared of. You and Lachie told her that she could stay with you, you helped her get away from him when she needed it. You helped her Chase, and don't ever think that you didn't. And now, she is okay. Dean is back. He's okay as well. He will never go back to who he was these past weeks. You have to know that.'

Chase: 'I do. I know that Dean is okay, but what about Heidi.'

Lara: 'What do you mean?'

Chase: 'At the accident scene, you told us that they were both okay and were going home, and just now you told us again that they were fine.'

Lara: 'I don't understand?'

Chase: 'Heidi isn't okay, is she? She's sick. I saw her Lara, she looked awful. She tried to hide it from us, and it may have worked on the others, but I didn't buy it. I told you the truth, now I want you to do the same for me.'

Lara didn't say anything, trying to think of what to tell Chase. She should have known that he would have seen through her distraction. Chase never misses anything. She tried to hide the emotions that were showing on her face when she thought of Heidi, but she wasn't quick enough to stop Chase from seeing how worried she was.

Chase: 'It's serious, isn't it.'

Lara: 'We don't know. Yes, she is sick. At the moment we don't know how sick she is or what's causing it, but it isn't not serious. I can't tell you anymore, just because I don't know anymore. Dean was going to call me later and tell me how she's doing. I was't going to tell anyone until I knew more to stop everyone from worrying. But Heidi will be fine, no matter what is wrong with her. She's not alone anymore.'

Chase: 'You told me that she was fine five months ago as well. And then we went on that stupid training course, and came back to find out she had collapsed. She wasn't fine then, we still don't know what caused her to collapse, and now she is sick again, and again you are telling me she is fine. You can't be sure that she will be okay, you don't know that she won't get worse. So excuse me if I'm not so eager to believe you.'

Lara: 'You're right. I don't know that she will be okay for definite. But I believe she will be. You have to have faith Chase. You have to trust that God will look after her. He looked after her five months ago and she was fine then. She will be now as well. Look, Heidi has been under a lot of stress lately, we all have. She could simply be suffering from stress related symptoms. This secret that her and Dean have, the one they have been keeping for the last five months is also playing havoc with her mind. She hasn't had Dean to talk to about it, and so there will be stress coming from that. But hopefully now that she can talk to Dean again, they will sort everything out and she will be back to normal very soon.'

Chase hadn't heard the last part of her speech. When she had mentioned the secret that Dean and Heidi had, he had stopped listening, instead thinking about that secret and how he knew it was partially to blame for the stress Heidi was under. Dean had told him a little bit about what had happened to Heidi, not enough to give it away but enough to allow him to piece it together himself. He hadn't told Dean that he knew what happened to Heidi, because he was worried that Dean would get mad at him for finding out, when he had deliberately not told him the truth directly so as to keep his promise to Heidi.

However he had thought over what Dean had told him, and all the evidence he had: Heidi collapsing, her keeping herself covered and showing no skin apart from her face and hands (to cover bruises or marks maybe?), Heidi having stopped going out on rescues etc. It hadn't taken him long to work out that someone had attacked Heidi and now she was having to deal with the aftermath. He also figured out that if she knew who the attacker was, she hadn't told Dean because if Dean had known he wouldn't have been as calm as he had been, instead he would probably have been working on a plan to kill whoever it was, and make sure he wasn't caught.

He had made sure that whenever anybody talked about Heidi and Dean, and their 'little secret' as the team was calling it, he had kept a straight face and not given away any signs that he knew more than the rest of them. He wasn't going to make things harder for Heidi to have to deal with, and he knew that Dean would get at him for letting the team find out what was going on. Dean had told him that little bit of information because Chase had been so worried about Heidi, and he knew that Dean was putting a lot of trust in him to keep it quiet.

As his thoughts ended, he heard someone calling his name, and looking towards where the voice was coming from he saw Lara, and remembered that he was in the break room having a conversation with her. He saw a look of concern on her face, and realized he must have zoned out while he was thinking about Dean and Heidi.

Lara: 'Are you okay?'

Chase: 'Yeah, I was just thinking about stuff.'

Lara: 'Anything you want to share?'

Chase: 'Not really.'

Lara: 'Okay, if you're sure.'

Chase: 'Yeah, well, I was just thinking over this crazy day, wondering what I should put in my report. Should I just stick to the rescue, or should I talk about you going all mad woman on Dean?'

Lara: 'I think you should just stick to the rescue. I don't think Michelle would appreciate having to re-read the events of the day seven times. She probably already has a copy in her memory, as do we all.'

Chase: 'I hear you. Anyway, I'm sorry I zoned out. What were you saying?'

Lara: 'I said that I want you to look after yourself. You can talk to me again if you want, okay. You also need to keep positive about everything. Heidi will be fine, she has Dean to look after her. You have to make sure that you keep yourself at one hundred per cent. What will Heidi say when she gets better and comes back to find out that you have been neglecting yourself because you have been worried about her? She won't like it and you know she won't. If you need anything, just call me, or try talking to Lachie. He may be your brother and he may tease you, but he still cares about you. He would hate to see you suffer with all of this just because you think you can't talk to him.'

Chase: 'I will. And thank you for the offer, to talk to you again. I know you probably have a lot on your mind as well. So it means a lot that you took the time to listen to me.'

Lara: 'No problem. I just don't want to see you struggling like this again.'

Chase: 'I promise you won't.'

Lara: 'Good. Now, lets go and start our reports. My bet is we'll probably finish them before Lachie and Jordan, and they've had a ten minute head start. Oh, and if anybody needs sorting out over reports, it's Vince. I don't remember the last time I saw him actually do a report, yet he still manages to hand it on time to Michelle with the rest of us.'

Chase: 'You heard him then.'

Lara: 'Oh yes, and I think it may be a good idea to interrogate the newbies, just to see if anyone of them has been filling out his reports. That bit of bribery may get him off our backs for a while.'

Chase: 'I like the sound of that.'

Lara: 'Yeah, a few weeks at work with no Vince nagging us about our reports. I like the sound of that too.'

At that they both smiled and walked out of the break room to start their reports. Lara knew she was right about them finishing before Lachie and Jordan when her and Chase walked over to their desks and saw them both just sat there, staring at nothing in particular. Their reports sat untouched on their desks.

Lara: 'What have you been doing for the past ten minutes, you haven't even written the date on your reports!'

Lachie and Jordan turned at the sound of her voice and looked at her and Chase. They could both see the looks of horror and fear in their eyes.

Chase: 'Are you two okay? You look exactly like you did when we saw that horror movie a few months back, only this time you actually look slightly worse.'

Lachie: 'Believe me Chase, you don't want to know what is in our minds right now. You are too innocent and naive to be exposed to this torture.'

Chase: 'What are you on about?'

Jordan: 'Chase, Lara. Please, don't ask us to explain. Just don't. I would rather watch that horror movie again, then have to actually put it into words.'

Lachie: 'That actually makes me feel sick.'

Jordan: 'I'm with on you that.'

At that, both of them fell silent, Chase and Lara still wondering what on earth they were talking about. They saw Vince coming out of the kitchen, and so did Lachie and Jordan, who both looked at him and then looked at Chase and Lara and Lachie said:

Lachie: 'Whatever you do, never make him mad.'

Chase and Lara both looked at Vince.

Lara: 'What the hell did you do to them?!'

Vince: 'Me, why I didn't do anything. They just learnt a valuable lesson in how not to mess with me.'

Vince then walked off downstairs to do an inventory check, humming some sort of tune with a very creepy smile on his face, while Chase and Lara sat down at their desks, still confused as ever, and watched as Lachie and Jordan both moved their trash cans closer to their desks, both of them begging God to remove whatever horror movie was playing in their minds.

Chase: 'Lara, do you think it might be worth asking Michelle what happened. I mean, these two aren't going to tell us.'

Lara: 'Yeah, it's probably the only way we are going to find out what happened out here in ten minutes to freak theses guys out so much. The way they're acting its like they were told that Vince and I slept together or something.'

At that Lachie and Jordan promptly threw up in their trash cans. Lara and Chase never found out what had happened, as even Michelle refused to talk about it, thinking they were on about what Jordan had said about them both, having no idea either about what had gone on between Vince, Lachie and Jordan after she had left them.


	15. Chapter 15

Heidi stood outside of the bar watching as Lara drove down to the end of the street and then turned left, having left Heidi by herself even though she was supposed to be dropping her off at home. Tears came to Heidi's eyes and a few ran down onto her cheek before she quickly wiped them away, angry and upset at what had just happened.

She couldn't believe Lara and Jordan had just left her. It was a typical thing that Jordan would do, forget that he was taking her home, especially if he was drunk. He wold forget his own head if it wasn't attached to his shoulders. But Lara, Lara wouldn't forget. Heidi had been in the bathroom for less than five minutes and in that time Lara and Jordan had left the club and decided to leave her behind.

Heidi never thought that either of them would do that to her. She had thought it was a joke at first, when she came out of the bathroom and they weren't waiting for her at the bar. She thought they had gone outside to make her think they had left her. So she had gone outside to join them but hadn't seen them anywhere. That's when Heidi had seen Lara's car drive off and she felt like she had been hit by a truck. It wasn't a joke. They really had left her.

When Heidi realized that she was alone, she knew that she couldn't just stay where she was, so decided to walk home. She had considered calling a taxi but in the end hadn't wanted to wait around for it to arrive, she had just wanted to get home and try and calm herself down so she didn't get worked up about what Lara and Jordan had done to her. She knew that it wouldn't help her tomorrow when she had to go into work and see them, especially as she wasn't looking forward to having to ask them why they left her.

Heidi started to walk in the direction of her and Dean's house, all wrapped up in her thoughts and so was too distracted to notice that she was being followed.

However, the man who was following her had been doing so for four months and knew how to become invisible when he needed to. Even though he was in a car this time, and not on foot, Heidi still hadn't noticed him and that's the way he wanted it. He wanted to be able to just appear beside her and take away all her feelings about what had just happened with Lara and Jordan, having watched the entire sequence of events unfold.

He knew the truth, knew that the whole thing was meant as a joke, but was happy that Heidi hadn't taken it that way. It meant that he could be the man to save her, seeing as how Dean was away. This was why he had chosen tonight to finally approach her. After four months of only being able to watch her, he was more than ready to talk to her for the first time in nearly three years.

Three years. Had it really been that long? He had hated being away from her, but he knew that Heidi didn't want to see him again. If he had known that she wouldn't have wanted to kill him the minute she saw him he would have come back sooner, but he knew that he had to give her time to get over the past and move on. Hopefully now she would be able to accept him back into her life.

He had thought about approaching her earlier in the four months he had been following her, but she had never been alone. He didn't want anyone there when he spoke to her, he wanted it to be a private moment between them, the moment that she forgave him for hurting her and took him back. The moment their relationship began again. The fact that she was now alone tonight, and he hadn't even been prepared for it to happen, had to be a good sign. He knew that it had to be God, telling him that what he was doing was right and that this was meant to happen. That they were meant to be together again.

So instead he had decided to watch her closely and learn who the new Heidi was, learn who she had become so when he did finally talk to her he wouldn't start the conversation on a bad note, meaning he wouldn't make her upset or angry by bringing something up from the past that was no longer part of her life. He wanted to impress her by showing her how much he knew about her, how he cared enough to learn about her new life so that they could start again, right where they left off, after he had introduced her to the new him of course. He knew that Heidi would love the new him, just like he had fallen in love with the new her. All he needed to do was show her what she had been missing out on for so long.

However one thing he did especially want to know is if she had dated anyone in the time that they had been apart. He didn't think she had, knowing that she had been too upset over his betrayal to even think about a new relationship at the time. He had dated a couple of times, but none of them had compared to Heidi. He had learnt that very quickly, and so had done the right thing by ending things and choosing to live a bachelor style life until he could come back and start afresh with Heidi. But if she had dated anyone he wanted to know so he could see if they were better partners than he had been.

He watched as Heidi walked down the street, crossing the road to get onto the path so she could cut across the beach to get home. He had watched her and Dean do it before, when they had been to the same bar. It was quicker than walking down the different streets in the dark. He knew he had to catch her before she reached the beach path that they always went down, the one with all the lights and CCTV cameras. If things got ugly he didn't want any witnesses. Not that things were going to get ugly, he was just being cautious, knowing how bad Heidi's temper could get, remembering from the last time they had seen each other.

He pulled his car up behind her and started to close the distance between them, feeling more nervous every time he got a foot closer. Eventually when he was just behind her he rolled his window down and drew level with her, finally able to look directly at her ocean blue eyes up close once again. She turned to look at him as she noticed his presence for the first time, and he watched as confusement, shock and then distress lined her face as she slowly recognized him. Not the reaction he was hoping for, but at least she knew who he was.

Heidi: 'I. . . .What. . . .You. . . .You left. Three years. For Cairns.'

That was all Heidi could get out, the shock of seeing this man too much for her to be able to get a proper sentence out.

Man: 'Hello to you too Heidi. I know it's been a while, and you were right. It's been three years and I've been in Cairns since then. I'm glad to know you remembered. You look great by the way. How have you been?'

Heidi: 'What are you doing here. I told you I never wanted to see you again.'

Man: 'Come on Heidi, surely you've moved on since then. I came back to see you, thinking you would be happy to see me, hoping for a reconciliation maybe. Don't tell me you're still angry over a little argument.'

Heidi: 'It's not the argument I was angry at and you know it. I was angry at the fact that I had just found out you had been cheating on me for eleven months! We had been together for less than a year before you found yourself another girlfriend.'

Man: 'Heidi, she wasn't another girlfriend. I already explained all this to you. Do we have to relive it all over again?'

Heidi: 'No, we don't. Because this conversation is over. Don't even think of following me because I will never be happy to see you again and there is no way in hell I would ever get back together with you.'

At that Heidi turned and started to walk away from the car, leaving behind a very angry, very embarrassed and very volatile Mack.

Mack knew that he couldn't just let Heidi get away with what she had just done. He had been so nice to her, so civil, and she had just thrown it back in his face. No, he couldn't leave that alone. What sort of a man would he be if he let a girl do that to him and then just walk away. He wasn't going to just lie down and take it. He quickly pulled the car away from the curb and started to increase his speed in order to catch up to her. He waited until she was level with one of the small beach paths that were all over the dunes and conveniently had no lighting or CCTV, and then with a squeal of his tyres he brought the car to the curb again, accidentally jumping the curb slightly, and then jumped out of the car and ran at her, pushing her into the path that was behind her. He landed on top of her and quickly covered her mouth with his hand to stop her screaming out for help.

He was thinking how his plans had gone completely wrong, how this wasn't supposed to happen and how he hadn't even gotten to asking her if she wanted a lift home before everything was ruined. Well she would pay for that now, along with having to pay for her attitude with him.

Mack: 'It's no use struggling Heidi, you know I'm strong. You'll never push me off. Besides, you used to like me on top of you.'

He could see the fear in her eyes and it excited him, knowing he had control over her once again. He could hear her trying to say something and so loosened the grip on her mouth a little to hear what she was saying.

Heidi: 'You're disgusting. You always have been. I'm glad that things are over between us because now I don't have to put up with a pig like you.'

At that Mack slapped Heidi hard across her face.

Mack: 'If you don't want that to happen again I suggest you shut your mouth and keep it shut.'

Heidi however had found a new strength inside of her and knew that she only stood a chance of escaping if she could anger Mack enough to make him lose control and therefore give her a chance to get away.

Heidi: 'When you left I was so happy because I didn't have to sleep with you anymore. You were boring and clearly hadn't had much experience with women before me. And besides, you obviously didn't love me enough to not go and jump into bed with another woman.'

Mack slapped her again, harder than before, and this time shouted at her to shut up. But she didn't because she could see that she was getting to him and that he was becoming more irate. She knew it wouldn't be long before he totally lost it.

Heidi: 'I think I know why you did it now. Slept with that other woman.'

Mack: 'You don't know anything! I love you Heidi, more than you'll ever know. I ended two relationships in Cairns because I loved you so much I couldn't let you go. And it never meant anything with Sophia. It happened as a one time thing but she wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to end it but she wouldn't let me.'

Heidi: 'That's a lie and you know it. You're too much of a control freak not to be in charge in a relationship. If you wanted out you would have ended it. And you even remember her name even though its been three years. Wow, you couldn't even remember my birthday when we were together but you remembered your girlfriend's name three years on.'

Mack: 'She wasn't my girlfriend! You were! And I loved you before you went and ruined everything.'

Heidi: 'No, you didn't love me. You loved the thrill of dating two women at the same time. And do you want to know why I think you slept with her? To prove your masculinity. You are so weak and feminine its unbelievable. You should go back to Cairns and try your previous relationships again. Maybe the women up there will put up with your extra-curricular activities, and your need to prove your manhood by sleeping with more than one woman at a time.'

That was when Mack lost it. He started screaming at her, saying that she didn't know anything and that she was going to be sorry for making fun of him like that. He started to hit her, and once he did he couldn't stop. Heidi started to fight back against him but Mack was so worked up that he was able to push her away and back onto the ground. He started attacking her chest so that he could make her lose her breath enough to stop fighting him. He was still screaming, but nobody could hear what was going on, even when Heidi started to scream as well, shouting for help and crying.

Between the dunes all the sound was trapped. All anybody could hear was the waves lapping against the rocks and the beach. Nobody had any idea of the vicious assault that was happening while they were all taking walks with their partners and dogs, while they sat and sipped their drinks, and while they were enjoying themselves, Heidi went through the worst night of her entire life.

When Mack eventually wore himself out and got too tired to hit Heidi anymore, he stopped his assault and rolled off of her and onto his back next to her. He lay there for a few minutes to get some of his energy back before sitting up and looking at Heidi next to him, admiring what he had done to her.

Heidi was barely conscious, but was clear-headed enough to watch as Mack slowly stood up and stood there for a couple more minutes, just watching her. She heard him as he crouched down next to her and whispered in her ear, saying that all he wanted was a second chance, but now that she looked like that he would pass.

Mack: 'I really loved you, but now I think I can finally move on. I was the only one who was ever right for you, but now I'm glad we're not together. You're the one who is disgusting now, you look it too. Now that you look like that, I don't think even Dean would want you around anymore, and especially not that idiot Jordan. Mind you, if he left you tonight, I don't think he even wanted you to begin with.'

He stood up again, gave her one last kick, and as fresh tears began making their way down Heidi's face, her vision slowly started to fade into darkness, but she heard him say one last thing about a present before she felt something hit her face. She heard his car start back up as he maneuvered it off the pavement and got it back on the road, and listened as he drove away. Her tears started to fall faster and she listened to the waves of the ocean hitting the rocks as she slowly succumbed to the darkness where she couldn't feel the pain of her injuries.

When Heidi woke up a few hours later, she was confused at first as to where she was and what had happened. But as she tried to sit up she felt a rush of pain everywhere on her body and her memories started coming back to her. She remembered Lara and Jordan leaving her at the bar, and she remembered starting to walk home. Then she remembered seeing Mack and the rest of her memories from the night all came back at once.

Heidi managed to get through the pain enough to get herself into an upright position so she could start to assess her injuries, of which there were many. She could feel blood on her hands but couldn't make out a single source, realizing that she must have multiple cuts that would need washing and bandaging. Her whole body hurt which told her that she was probably covered in bruises and when she brought her hand to head, just the feel of her fingers brush her skin was enough to make her cry out. Mack had been careful enough to hit her where her hair was and not on direct skin, apart from the slaps he had given her, which meant that all the bruises would be covered up. That was a good thing at least because that meant that it would be easier to hide what had happened from everyone.

When Heidi was ready to stand up she placed her hands either side of her body in order to push herself up, and felt something cold underneath her right hand. She stopped and picked the object up, bringing it up to her face so she could see what it was. When she saw it she froze, the tears starting again as she realized what she was holding.

It was a ring, a gold ring with three diamonds entwined in the band, with an inscription on the inside of the band that read Forever Mine, With Love Mack. It was the promise ring that Mack had given her on their sixth month anniversary, the month before he started his affair with 'Sophia'. It was also the same ring that she had thrown back in his face the evening that she broke up with him.

She started to cry properly as she remembered what that ring was meant to signify and what Mack had said to her the night he got down on one knee and had given it to her. That ring was a promise from him to her to always love her no matter what happened, that he would always be committed to her (i.e. never cheat on her) for better or for worse, and a promise to always be with her for as long as God permitted it, even in heaven.

As the anger started to set in over what he had done to her she found the strength to stand up through the pain and slowly made her way down to the ocean, stopping at the water's edge where it was lapping against the sand. She took one last look at the ring before throwing it as far as she could into the water and watched as the waves took it further out to sea as they moved back and forth. When she was sure it was gone as far away from her as possible she turned around and started walking up the beach to the path that she needed to find which would take her straight home, the tears still pouring down her face.

When she had gotten home she had cleaned herself up as best she could and had gone to bed, knowing that she wouldn't sleep but wanted to be in the comfort and safety of her own bed. She had made a promise to herself to make sure nobody found out what had happened this evening, and especially to never reveal who it was that had done this, knowing that if anyone on the team found out, especially Dean, she would be hearing about Mack's death on the news, even if Dean had to go all the way to Cairns to kill him. She couldn't say that she didn't want Mack dead, but she didn't want Dean to do something he regretted just because of her.

Eventually she drifted off into a light sleep, clutching Dean's dog-tags that he had when he was in the army tightly in her hands. He gave them to her when they moved in together so she would feel safe and protected if ever she felt alone, and so tonight she hadn't left them on the shelf by her bed where they usually stayed, but had wrapped them around her left hand and held them as tight as she could, knowing that she needed to feel as close to Dean as possible that night, wanting him to be there to hold her close and protect her, and let her know that Mack would never be able to hurt her again.

* * *

When Heidi had finished telling Dean what had happened that night he sat there with her in his arms and held her as she cried. She cried and cried and didn't stop until she had fallen asleep in the safety of Dean's arms. When Dean knew she was asleep he picked her up and took her through to his room, knowing that she would probably wake up with nightmares and so wanted to be close if that happened. He then went through to Heidi's room and picked up his dog-tags, went back through to his room and attached them round her neck. He wanted her to wear them everyday from now on, as a way to protect her and he knew that she probably would. He then lay down next to her on his bed and wrapped his arms around her, folding her into him as if he was her protector which he was. He then started to cry, crying for Heidi and what she went through, and crying because he wasn't here to protect her when he should have been. That's how he fell asleep and that's where both of them stayed, even though it was only five o'clock in the afternoon. That didn't matter, all that mattered was that Heidi was safe and that was the way it was going to stay.


	16. Chapter 16

Heidi stood outside of the bar watching as Lara drove down to the end of the street and then turned left, having left Heidi by herself even though she was supposed to be dropping her off at home. Tears came to Heidi's eyes and a few ran down onto her cheek before she quickly wiped them away, angry and upset at what had just happened.

She couldn't believe Lara and Jordan had just left her. It was a typical thing that Jordan would do, forget that he was taking her home, especially if he was drunk. He wold forget his own head if it wasn't attached to his shoulders. But Lara, Lara wouldn't forget. Heidi had been in the bathroom for less than five minutes and in that time Lara and Jordan had left the club and decided to leave her behind.

Heidi never thought that either of them would do that to her. She had thought it was a joke at first, when she came out of the bathroom and they weren't waiting for her at the bar. She thought they had gone outside to make her think they had left her. So she had gone outside to join them but hadn't seen them anywhere. That's when Heidi had seen Lara's car drive off and she felt like she had been hit by a truck. It wasn't a joke. They really had left her.

When Heidi realized that she was alone, she knew that she couldn't just stay where she was, so decided to walk home. She had considered calling a taxi but in the end hadn't wanted to wait around for it to arrive, she had just wanted to get home and try and calm herself down so she didn't get worked up about what Lara and Jordan had done to her. She knew that it wouldn't help her tomorrow when she had to go into work and see them, especially as she wasn't looking forward to having to ask them why they left her.

Heidi started to walk in the direction of her and Dean's house, all wrapped up in her thoughts and so was too distracted to notice that she was being followed.

However, the man who was following her had been doing so for four months and knew how to become invisible when he needed to. Even though he was in a car this time, and not on foot, Heidi still hadn't noticed him and that's the way he wanted it. He wanted to be able to just appear beside her and take away all her feelings about what had just happened with Lara and Jordan, having watched the entire sequence of events unfold.

He knew the truth, knew that the whole thing was meant as a joke, but was happy that Heidi hadn't taken it that way. It meant that he could be the man to save her, seeing as how Dean was away. This was why he had chosen tonight to finally approach her. After four months of only being able to watch her, he was more than ready to talk to her for the first time in nearly three years.

Three years. Had it really been that long? He had hated being away from her, but he knew that Heidi didn't want to see him again. If he had known that she wouldn't have wanted to kill him the minute she saw him he would have come back sooner, but he knew that he had to give her time to get over the past and move on. Hopefully now she would be able to accept him back into her life.

He had thought about approaching her earlier in the four months he had been following her, but she had never been alone. He didn't want anyone there when he spoke to her, he wanted it to be a private moment between them, the moment that she forgave him for hurting her and took him back. The moment their relationship began again. The fact that she was now alone tonight, and he hadn't even been prepared for it to happen, had to be a good sign. He knew that it had to be God, telling him that what he was doing was right and that this was meant to happen. That they were meant to be together again.

So instead he had decided to watch her closely and learn who the new Heidi was, learn who she had become so when he did finally talk to her he wouldn't start the conversation on a bad note, meaning he wouldn't make her upset or angry by bringing something up from the past that was no longer part of her life. He wanted to impress her by showing her how much he knew about her, how he cared enough to learn about her new life so that they could start again, right where they left off, after he had introduced her to the new him of course. He knew that Heidi would love the new him, just like he had fallen in love with the new her. All he needed to do was show her what she had been missing out on for so long.

However one thing he did especially want to know is if she had dated anyone in the time that they had been apart. He didn't think she had, knowing that she had been too upset over his betrayal to even think about a new relationship at the time. He had dated a couple of times, but none of them had compared to Heidi. He had learnt that very quickly, and so had done the right thing by ending things and choosing to live a bachelor style life until he could come back and start afresh with Heidi. But if she had dated anyone he wanted to know so he could see if they were better partners than he had been.

He watched as Heidi walked down the street, crossing the road to get onto the path so she could cut across the beach to get home. He had watched her and Dean do it before, when they had been to the same bar. It was quicker than walking down the different streets in the dark. He knew he had to catch her before she reached the beach path that they always went down, the one with all the lights and CCTV cameras. If things got ugly he didn't want any witnesses. Not that things were going to get ugly, he was just being cautious, knowing how bad Heidi's temper could get, remembering from the last time they had seen each other.

He pulled his car up behind her and started to close the distance between them, feeling more nervous every time he got a foot closer. Eventually when he was just behind her he rolled his window down and drew level with her, finally able to look directly at her ocean blue eyes up close once again. She turned to look at him as she noticed his presence for the first time, and he watched as confusement, shock and then distress lined her face as she slowly recognized him. Not the reaction he was hoping for, but at least she knew who he was.

Heidi: 'I. . . .What. . . .You. . . .You left. Three years. For Cairns.'

That was all Heidi could get out, the shock of seeing this man too much for her to be able to get a proper sentence out.

Man: 'Hello to you too Heidi. I know it's been a while, and you were right. It's been three years and I've been in Cairns since then. I'm glad to know you remembered. You look great by the way. How have you been?'

Heidi: 'What are you doing here. I told you I never wanted to see you again.'

Man: 'Come on Heidi, surely you've moved on since then. I came back to see you, thinking you would be happy to see me, hoping for a reconciliation maybe. Don't tell me you're still angry over a little argument.'

Heidi: 'It's not the argument I was angry at and you know it. I was angry at the fact that I had just found out you had been cheating on me for eleven months! We had been together for less than a year before you found yourself another girlfriend.'

Man: 'Heidi, she wasn't another girlfriend. I already explained all this to you. Do we have to relive it all over again?'

Heidi: 'No, we don't. Because this conversation is over. Don't even think of following me because I will never be happy to see you again and there is no way in hell I would ever get back together with you.'

At that Heidi turned and started to walk away from the car, leaving behind a very angry, very embarrassed and very volatile Mack.

Mack knew that he couldn't just let Heidi get away with what she had just done. He had been so nice to her, so civil, and she had just thrown it back in his face. No, he couldn't leave that alone. What sort of a man would he be if he let a girl do that to him and then just walk away. He wasn't going to just lie down and take it. He quickly pulled the car away from the curb and started to increase his speed in order to catch up to her. He waited until she was level with one of the small beach paths that were all over the dunes and conveniently had no lighting or CCTV, and then with a squeal of his tyres he brought the car to the curb again, accidentally jumping the curb slightly, and then jumped out of the car and ran at her, pushing her into the path that was behind her. He landed on top of her and quickly covered her mouth with his hand to stop her screaming out for help.

He was thinking how his plans had gone completely wrong, how this wasn't supposed to happen and how he hadn't even gotten to asking her if she wanted a lift home before everything was ruined. Well she would pay for that now, along with having to pay for her attitude with him.

Mack: 'It's no use struggling Heidi, you know I'm strong. You'll never push me off. Besides, you used to like me on top of you.'

He could see the fear in her eyes and it excited him, knowing he had control over her once again. He could hear her trying to say something and so loosened the grip on her mouth a little to hear what she was saying.

Heidi: 'You're disgusting. You always have been. I'm glad that things are over between us because now I don't have to put up with a pig like you.'

At that Mack slapped Heidi hard across her face.

Mack: 'If you don't want that to happen again I suggest you shut your mouth and keep it shut.'

Heidi however had found a new strength inside of her and knew that she only stood a chance of escaping if she could anger Mack enough to make him lose control and therefore give her a chance to get away.

Heidi: 'When you left I was so happy because I didn't have to sleep with you anymore. You were boring and clearly hadn't had much experience with women before me. And besides, you obviously didn't love me enough to not go and jump into bed with another woman.'

Mack slapped her again, harder than before, and this time shouted at her to shut up. But she didn't because she could see that she was getting to him and that he was becoming more irate. She knew it wouldn't be long before he totally lost it.

Heidi: 'I think I know why you did it now. Slept with that other woman.'

Mack: 'You don't know anything! I love you Heidi, more than you'll ever know. I ended two relationships in Cairns because I loved you so much I couldn't let you go. And it never meant anything with Sophia. It happened as a one time thing but she wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to end it but she wouldn't let me.'

Heidi: 'That's a lie and you know it. You're too much of a control freak not to be in charge in a relationship. If you wanted out you would have ended it. And you even remember her name even though its been three years. Wow, you couldn't even remember my birthday when we were together but you remembered your girlfriend's name three years on.'

Mack: 'She wasn't my girlfriend! You were! And I loved you before you went and ruined everything.'

Heidi: 'No, you didn't love me. You loved the thrill of dating two women at the same time. And do you want to know why I think you slept with her? To prove your masculinity. You are so weak and feminine its unbelievable. You should go back to Cairns and try your previous relationships again. Maybe the women up there will put up with your extra-curricular activities, and your need to prove your manhood by sleeping with more than one woman at a time.'

That was when Mack lost it. He started screaming at her, saying that she didn't know anything and that she was going to be sorry for making fun of him like that. He started to hit her, and once he did he couldn't stop. Heidi started to fight back against him but Mack was so worked up that he was able to push her away and back onto the ground. He started attacking her chest so that he could make her lose her breath enough to stop fighting him. He was still screaming, but nobody could hear what was going on, even when Heidi started to scream as well, shouting for help and crying.

Between the dunes all the sound was trapped. All anybody could hear was the waves lapping against the rocks and the beach. Nobody had any idea of the vicious assault that was happening while they were all taking walks with their partners and dogs, while they sat and sipped their drinks, and while they were enjoying themselves, Heidi went through the worst night of her entire life.

When Mack eventually wore himself out and got too tired to hit Heidi anymore, he stopped his assault and rolled off of her and onto his back next to her. He lay there for a few minutes to get some of his energy back before sitting up and looking at Heidi next to him, admiring what he had done to her.

Heidi was barely conscious, but was clear-headed enough to watch as Mack slowly stood up and stood there for a couple more minutes, just watching her. She heard him as he crouched down next to her and whispered in her ear, saying that all he wanted was a second chance, but now that she looked like that he would pass.

Mack: 'I really loved you, but now I think I can finally move on. I was the only one who was ever right for you, but now I'm glad we're not together. You're the one who is disgusting now, you look it too. Now that you look like that, I don't think even Dean would want you around anymore, and especially not that idiot Jordan. Mind you, if he left you tonight, I don't think he even wanted you to begin with.'

He stood up again, gave her one last kick, and as fresh tears began making their way down Heidi's face, her vision slowly started to fade into darkness, but she heard him say one last thing about a present before she felt something hit her face. She heard his car start back up as he maneuvered it off the pavement and got it back on the road, and listened as he drove away. Her tears started to fall faster and she listened to the waves of the ocean hitting the rocks as she slowly succumbed to the darkness where she couldn't feel the pain of her injuries.

When Heidi woke up a few hours later, she was confused at first as to where she was and what had happened. But as she tried to sit up she felt a rush of pain everywhere on her body and her memories started coming back to her. She remembered Lara and Jordan leaving her at the bar, and she remembered starting to walk home. Then she remembered seeing Mack and the rest of her memories from the night all came back at once.

Heidi managed to get through the pain enough to get herself into an upright position so she could start to assess her injuries, of which there were many. She could feel blood on her hands but couldn't make out a single source, realizing that she must have multiple cuts that would need washing and bandaging. Her whole body hurt which told her that she was probably covered in bruises and when she brought her hand to head, just the feel of her fingers brush her skin was enough to make her cry out. Mack had been careful enough to hit her where her hair was and not on direct skin, apart from the slaps he had given her, which meant that all the bruises would be covered up. That was a good thing at least because that meant that it would be easier to hide what had happened from everyone.

When Heidi was ready to stand up she placed her hands either side of her body in order to push herself up, and felt something cold underneath her right hand. She stopped and picked the object up, bringing it up to her face so she could see what it was. When she saw it she froze, the tears starting again as she realized what she was holding.

It was a ring, a gold ring with three diamonds entwined in the band, with an inscription on the inside of the band that read Forever Mine, With Love Mack. It was the promise ring that Mack had given her on their sixth month anniversary, the month before he started his affair with 'Sophia'. It was also the same ring that she had thrown back in his face the evening that she broke up with him.

She started to cry properly as she remembered what that ring was meant to signify and what Mack had said to her the night he got down on one knee and had given it to her. That ring was a promise from him to her to always love her no matter what happened, that he would always be committed to her (i.e. never cheat on her) for better or for worse, and a promise to always be with her for as long as God permitted it, even in heaven.

As the anger started to set in over what he had done to her she found the strength to stand up through the pain and slowly made her way down to the ocean, stopping at the water's edge where it was lapping against the sand. She took one last look at the ring before throwing it as far as she could into the water and watched as the waves took it further out to sea as they moved back and forth. When she was sure it was gone as far away from her as possible she turned around and started walking up the beach to the path that she needed to find which would take her straight home, the tears still pouring down her face.

When she had gotten home she had cleaned herself up as best she could and had gone to bed, knowing that she wouldn't sleep but wanted to be in the comfort and safety of her own bed. She had made a promise to herself to make sure nobody found out what had happened this evening, and especially to never reveal who it was that had done this, knowing that if anyone on the team found out, especially Dean, she would be hearing about Mack's death on the news, even if Dean had to go all the way to Cairns to kill him. She couldn't say that she didn't want Mack dead, but she didn't want Dean to do something he regretted just because of her.

Eventually she drifted off into a light sleep, clutching Dean's dog-tags that he had when he was in the army tightly in her hands. He gave them to her when they moved in together so she would feel safe and protected if ever she felt alone, and so tonight she hadn't left them on the shelf by her bed where they usually stayed, but had wrapped them around her left hand and held them as tight as she could, knowing that she needed to feel as close to Dean as possible that night, wanting him to be there to hold her close and protect her, and let her know that Mack would never be able to hurt her again.

* * *

When Heidi had finished telling Dean what had happened that night he sat there with her in his arms and held her as she cried. She cried and cried and didn't stop until she had fallen asleep in the safety of Dean's arms. When Dean knew she was asleep he picked her up and took her through to his room, knowing that she would probably wake up with nightmares and so wanted to be close if that happened. He then went through to Heidi's room and picked up his dog-tags, went back through to his room and attached them round her neck. He wanted her to wear them everyday from now on, as a way to protect her and he knew that she probably would. He then lay down next to her on his bed and wrapped his arms around her, folding her into him as if he was her protector which he was. He then started to cry, crying for Heidi and what she went through, and crying because he wasn't here to protect her when he should have been. That's how he fell asleep and that's where both of them stayed, even though it was only five o'clock in the afternoon. That didn't matter, all that mattered was that Heidi was safe and that was the way it was going to stay.


	17. Chapter 17

Equality. Dean both loved that word, and hated it. He loved it because it stood for equality in the world. The equality between men and women in issues such as the equality pay act. The equality between different races and religions of people throughout the world. He loved that there was no more gender or race discrimination anymore, and that there was equality everywhere.

He hated it for a very different reason. Dean had always believed that the world depended on equality to survive. If a baby was born, another person had to die. That sort of thing. Equality keeps the world balanced. However the part he hated about equality was when a good thing happened, a bad thing had to happen to even everything out. A good event couldn't just happen without there being a bad event waiting for its turn.

That is exactly what happened with Heidi. This is why Dean loved and hated this word that meant so much in the world to millions of people, but at the same time could also ruin someone's life in a heartbeat.

The first few days following Heidi's confession about what had really happened to her had gone great. Dean had noticed that Heidi felt like the world had been lifted off of her shoulders, and that for the first time in six months she was free. Free of everything that had happened in her life. Heidi herself also noticed that since talking to Dean things had been better than they had been in a while, and she was pleased that telling him had brought about a good change in her life because now she finally felt like she could move on properly from that night without there being another obstacle to overcome first.

However all of this celebration, and this release of negative emotions and feelings followed by positive reactions was short lived.

Heidi had decided that she wanted to tell the team the truth as well, because she felt like they deserved to know just like Dean did. She also told Dean that this was the final mission to complete to free herself entirely from her past. This would allow her to leave it all behind and that is what she wanted more than anything.

Two days after Heidi's admission to Dean they invited the team round to their house in the evening so Heidi could talk to the team in an environment that was safe for Heidi and safe for anyone to speak their mind after Heidi had finished talking. Dean had told the team that before Heidi had started, to make sure that if they wanted to say anything they could afterwards. Dean knew it was hard for Heidi to tell him, and that she had stopped and started a lot while doing so, therefore wanted to give Heidi the chance to just tell them the truth with no interruptions so that she could get it over with as soon as possible.

Everyone had agreed to not interrupt until Heidi was finished talking, and to their credit no one said anything. They didn't even say anything after she had finished, all of them processing what they had just heard and trying to find their voices to speak. Chase, having already figured out what had happened on his own was still shocked to hear the details and find out exactly what had happened. He had been the first one to react, by standing up and walking straight over to Heidi and hugging her. He sat down on the sofa next to her, so she was in between him and Dean, and had just held her.

He had whispered in her ear, so no one else could him, that he was so proud of her for dealing with her attack on her own for those weeks when no one knew anything. He said that she was stronger than she knew and that he was even prouder of her for being able to eventually tell them. He had started to cry and so just stayed there with her in his arms so no one could see him, not wanting them to see how upset he was.

When he had composed himself he pulled away and let the others have their turn with Heidi. Dean, noticing his little's brother's eyes were glazed over and that there were tear tracks on his face motioned for him to follow him down the hall, and shut them both in his bedroom to talk to Chase privately.

Chase had admitted everything to Dean, all about how he was feeling and why, and also told him that he had already figured out what had happened to Heidi. He had made sure that Dean knew that he had kept it a secret, and that no one else had found out from him, scared that Dean was going to get angry at him. But instead Dean comforted his brother, telling him that he could have come to him when he figured it all out, and that he wouldn't have been angry. Dean made sure that Chase knew that Heidi was alright, and that she was going to be okay now. He hadn't known at that moment that he was so wrong. Dean had hugged his brother and given him another opportunity to cry and let his feelings out, during which they both heard shouting coming from the living room. They broke apart, looked at each other and hurriedly made their way back to the others.

When they had entered the living room they knew something was wrong when they saw Heidi crying into Lachie's chest, his arms protectively round her with his eyes spitting fire in Lara's direction; they saw Michelle and Jordan just sitting there in shock and Vince telling Lara that she should just leave.

Lara's face was an array of emotions: anger, embarrassment, guilt, sorrow and acquiescence, the last one probably to do with Vince telling her to leave. Whatever had happened, whatever Lara had said, she tried to apologize for it but nobody gave her the chance, Vince saying that now wasn't the time, and Lachie speaking up with his opinion that what she just did was inexcusable and unforgivable, and that she should just go and give everyone time to calm down.

Eventually she left, tears starting to form in her eyes as she started to realize the severity of her actions and the harm they had caused, with everyone staring at her until the door shut when they turned their attention to Dean and Chase who were just stood there very confused.

Vince decided to be the one to fill Dean and Chase in on what had just happened to end their confusement, Lachie letting Dean know that he was fine with Heidi and that they needed to know what had just gone down properly with no distractions, as he knew they wouldn't believe it. Nobody quite believed what they had just witnessed and because Dean and Chase weren't there, it would make it harder to understood and accept. Lachie just hoped that they could so that they could sort it all out without a big scene. After everything that happened at Dean and Heidi's place that night, another big scene was something they definitely didn't need.

* * *

While everyone else was busy talking to Heidi, Lara was still sat on her own, processing what she had just heard. She couldn't believe it, any of it. Especially not the fact that Mack had been the one to do this to her. Lara and Mack hadn't been very close, but they had been friendly and she had never thought that he could do anything like this, to anyone. She was sure of it in fact. Mack loved Heidi and would never have hurt her. However she knew that it was true.

She knew that Mack had indeed been the person to attack Heidi, and she knew by the pain in Heidi's eyes, the anger in Dean's eyes and the memory she had of when Heidi had broken things off with Mack. She remembered how he had come to the station everyday after she dumped him for two weeks trying to get her back, and then how he started to threaten her with violence if she didn't go back to him. She knew that he was dangerous and could make his threats real if he wanted to.

But she still didn't want to admit that what Heidi told them was true, because she knew she was partly to blame, and not because of the whole joke thing at the bar that same night. No, she was to blame in another way. That way being that she had been one of the women that Mack had cheated on Heidi with.

It was never meant to happen, but Heidi had been gone for two nights on a chopper training event in Newcastle, and Lara had bumped into Mack in a bar. She had been drinking to block out her failed marriage to Hamish, and he had been drinking with some of his friends. They had started a conversation, more drinking had been done and one thing had lead to another. Before she knew it she was waking up in his bed the next morning.

They had both agreed to never speak of it again and to never tell Heidi, both of them knowing that it would only hurt her. If Lara had known back then that she was just another one of his flings and that he had planned the whole thing then she would have thought very differently about his intentions of keeping it a secret.

Anyway, this memory had come to the surface after Heidi had told them why she had dumped Mack, and Lara knew that she couldn't go over and comfort Heidi knowing that she was one of the reasons that Heidi was sat there in the first place. It wasn't fair on Heidi. She had never thought of telling Heidi the truth before and knew that she would never be able to now. The only thing she could do was protect herself, even if it meant hurting Heidi more which she never wanted to do.

Lara had gotten up and told everyone that Heidi was lying. She said that it was all fake, and that Mack could never do this to Heidi. She defended Mack in any way possible, not realizing that by defending him she was putting herself in a bad position that would ultimately end up revealing everything. However she kept going and kept throwing insults at Heidi, trying to get the others to turn against Heidi as well, but they didn't. They knew that Heidi was telling the truth and at first thought that Lara was struggling with accepting what Heidi had told her because she thought it was her fault. They tried to calm her down and tell her to stop it, for Heidi's sake but Lara just kept going.

In the end Vince grabbed Lara and pulled her away, shaking her and telling her to be quiet. This stopped Lara's rampage and made her look at Vince. He was furious with her for doing that to Heidi and told her so, saying that Heidi wasn't lying and that whatever Lara's problem was she needed to deal with it. That made something inside Lara snap and in a another outburst said that her problem was that Heidi had no right telling lies about Mack, shouting that he was a good and decent man, and that if she was a better girlfriend to him he wouldn't have had to have found love elsewhere, like with her.

After realizing what she had just said she stopped, frozen on the spot, knowing that she had just outed her and Mack's indiscretion. Nobody said anything. Vince let go of Lara, Michelle and Jordan were silent as they had been throughout Lara's tirade, Lachie was completely shocked at what Lara had just said, and Heidi just sat there, letting Lara's confession sink in.

Lara and Mack had slept together. Her best friend had cheated on her with her boyfriend. She never thought that she would be one of those people, like Adam, the guy whose girlfriend Candice, got stuck in a hot air balloon because she couldn't go through with the wedding after sleeping with Adam's best friend Jason. Somebody who was cheated on by two of the most important people in their life.

She was numb, and couldn't do anything, until Lara started to speak again. Heidi had started to cry when she heard Lara's voice call her name before Vince cut her off and Lachie started to comfort Heidi. That was when Dean and Chase had entered the living room and heard Vince telling Lara to just leave.

She had left, knowing that she wasn't wanted around right now, but instead of driving away had just gotten in her car and started to cry. She let all her feeling come out and knew that she had just made a terrible mistake. She had probably just lost all her friends and her job in the space of five minutes. She cried for what seemed like hours, and when she was all out of tears drove home where she waited for Michelle to call and tell her not to come into work anymore.

That call didn't come however, and so Lara went to bed worried about what that could mean. She didn't sleep, instead running the events of the evening through her mind over and over again, wishing more than anything for a chance to start the evening again, for a chance to make everything right and to not hurt Heidi. But she wished the most that her and Mack hadn't slept together, knowing that that wish wasn't just about Heidi's welfare, but her own. Her own peace of mind and her own sanity, because she knew that that decision would now affect the rest of her life and her relationships with Heidi and the rest of the team.


	18. Chapter 18

Silence. That's all there was. Complete silence. Everyone was asleep, on their own in their own homes and everything was silent. It was meant to be a good day, Heidi was opening up to them all about what had happened to her. She wasn't keeping it in anymore, she was letting them help her. They should have been thankful for that. But all that any one would remember from today was Lara's secret. Not Heidi's.

Lachie's Point Of View

When Lara had left, Vince had moved Dean and Chase to the kitchen to tell them what Lara had done. The rest of the team were still processing what they had heard, while Lachie was trying to comfort Heidi who was getting more worked up as she tried to make sense of what Lara had said, but the only thing that anyone heard was a stream of jumbled up words as Heidi tried to come up with a reason for what Lara had confessed.

In the end, Lachie couldn't take it anymore and picked Heidi up, taking her through to her bedroom to try and calm her down. He could tell the others were getting agitated by Heidi's rambling, and he didn't want anyone to lose it which would only cause more tension. He heard Dean start swearing as he closed the door, and hesitated a moment to try and catch what his brother was saying. Dean was too angry though to make much sense, and so Lachie only caught snippets of what he was shouting.

He heard more swear words, Vince trying to placate him, Dean shouting about going to confront Lara, then Vince's voice again, more swearing from Dean, and finally Michelle's voice. He couldn't hear what she said as she was talking quietly, trying to get Dean to do the same. Whatever she said though seemed to work as he didn't hear Dean's voice again, only Michelle's. He could hear her more clearly now as they all moved into the living room.

Michelle's Point Of View

When Dean had calmed down, Michelle took him through to the living room and made him sit down in the place vacated by Lachie and Heidi, a few minutes earlier. She sat next to him and waited for Vince and Chase to join them before she started talking. When everyone was settled Michelle started to explain that everyone was angry and confused at what Lara had done, but that it wasn't going to help anyone to get worked up over it and confront her while they were all so mad at her. They weren't going to get any answers by ganging up on her and making her feel hated.

Dean interrupted her, questioning why they are trying to spare her feelings in all of this, saying that she already is hated, and that it is Heidi they should be focussing on, not Lara. Michelle took control again and explained that Dean was exactly right. They should be focussing on Heidi which is why she is talking to them now.

She continued by saying that Heidi is very upset by what has just happened, and the only person with her is Lachie. Everybody else is sat there, in the living room thinking about how they want to go and shout at Lara, when they should be thinking about how they can make things better for Heidi. Michelle then made Dean feel guilty, by telling him that the first thought in his mind when he found out what Lara had done should have been Heidi, and instead it was Lara. If he was going to help her, and get her the answers from Lara that she deserves then Dean needed to stop thinking about confronting Lara and making everything worse. He needed to think about his little sister, and how all of them are the only family she has, but right now more than anyone the one person who can make things better is him, and he is sat in a different room to her as she tries to understand how the day where she was meant to finally move forward from her attack has taken her back to square one in her recovery.

Michelle finished her speech, and let what she had just said sink in with everybody, as realization of how wrong they had acted set in, and how they finally seemed to notice that Lachie and Heidi were no longer in the living room. She looked up to see Lachie reenter the room, and quietly say Dean's name. At the mention of Dean's name, everyone looked toward Lachie to see who had broken the moment of reflection, and when Dean saw his brother he stood up and walked to him.

Lachie's Point Of View

When Michelle had finished her speech, he knew that now would be a good time to go and get Dean. He had opened the door fully again so he could still hear what was being said, but could also go and sit with Heidi on her bed so she wasn't alone. She had stopped crying and was now just sat curled up in a ball, Dean's dog-tags clenched tightly in her hands, the chain almost strangling her as she pulled them harder, so as to never let go. Lachie could see that they gave her strength and were comforting to her, a replacement of Dean when he wasn't there. Only he was there, he was in the next room, and yet he was so far away from Heidi at the same time. Lachie had gone and sat on the bed, gently loosening her hands so that she didn't cut of her oxygen, and had held her close, like Dean did, as she crawled onto his lap. They stayed there while Michelle talked, and eventually Heidi had asked for Dean.

Lachie had left her in her room, and had walked into the living room and said Dean's name. To anyone else it was just a word, a name, but he knew that to Dean it was a whole other meaning. In that one mention of his name, Dean knew that Heidi needed him, even though Lachie had done a great job of looking after her and she loved him, Heidi needed him now, and no one else. He stood up and walked over to Lachie, and a silent exchange took place in between them.

An exchange of thank you from Dean, a thank you for being there for her when he couldn't, a thank you for not losing it like he had, for being the strong one and the older brother when he should have been.

An exchange of always from Lachie, always meaning that he will always be there for him and Heidi, no matter what, a meaning of somebody has to be in control when he isn't, and a meaning that Dean can't always be strong like he wants to be and can't always be the older brother. Every one needs help from time to time, and Lachie is always there to step in when needed.

They both stepped forward at the same time and embraced each other in a brotherly hug, before separating so Dean could go and be with Heidi, while Lachie stayed behind to now be the older brother to the other member of their family.

Chase's Point Of View

Chase had been silent since Vince had told him and Dean what Lara had done to cause so much upset. While Dean had expressed his emotions verbally, Chase had no emotions. He was in shock, complete shock. He had thought this was over. He thought that now Heidi had told everyone what Mack had done to her that she could finally move on and get better, and so could everyone else. He thought that everything would go back to normal and that they would all be a proper family again. He didn't think that their lives would be ruined again, especially by Lara.

When Michelle had taken Dean into the living room, he had followed with Vince, and as she started her speech Chase had just sat there. His mind was blank, it was empty of everything that he had just been told, empty of the entire events of the day. Except it was all still there. It was all there but Chase didn't want to think about it anymore. He just wanted to forget everything and rewind time, back to before they had all come to Dean and Heidi's and before Lara had changed everything. Back to this morning where for the first time in months he had seen Heidi happy. Back to four months ago before he pieced together what had happened to Heidi himself. Back to six months ago, before Heidi was ever attacked in the first place. Back to when Lara and Mack slept together, so he could stop it from happening and stop these events from ever taking place.

He knew he could never do that, but he wished he could. When he came back to earth he noticed that Dean, Michelle, Vince and Jordan were gone. The only ones left in the living room were him and Lachie. He asked where everyone was, and Lachie explained that Dean had gone to be with Heidi, and that the others had all left and gone home. They were going to meet up again tomorrow at HQ and decide what was going to happen from this point on. Him and Chase were going to stay the night with Dean and Heidi, even though they only lived next door, but right now Lachie wanted to talk to Chase about tonight.

Chase had told Lachie that he wasn't in the mood for talking, but Lachie hadn't taken no for answer, and had said that they didn't need to be worrying about both Heidi and him for these next few weeks which were going to be hard on everyone. Lachie said that he needed Chase to tell him the truth about how he is feeling, because these next weeks weren't going to be easy and he needed to know that Chase was strong enough to handle them.

Chase told him that he was, but realized that Lachie had a point about telling him the truth, and knew he didn't want to keep secrets from him, as he never has with Dean or Heidi. So Chase proceeded to tell Lachie everything he was feeling about Lara, about Heidi and about the whole night in general. He told him about his talk with Dean, and Lachie listened to everything. He was glad that his brother decided not to lie to him, and he was glad that he had been talking to Dean at least. He made sure that Chase knew that from now on he wasn't to keep any secrets, at all, from any of them. If he had problems he wanted Chase to come to them, and he made sure that Chase knew that until the whole problem with Lara was sorted out he wanted Chase to stay away from her.

Chase argued about that, asking why everybody else was allowed to talk to her and learn the truth from her, but not him, and it took Lachie a while to make Chase understand that it was for his own good, and that he was doing it for him, to help him. He said that he didn't want Chase getting upset at whatever happens between them and Lara, and to calm him down a little he told Chase that he would need to stay here with Heidi while the rest of them were talking to Lara and trying to find a way to sort out this whole mess. He knew that Chase would like being here with Heidi and looking after her, as they were best friends and if anyone could make Heidi laugh a little in a situation like this, it was Chase.

Lachie's Point Of View

Having made sure that Chase was in a good place, Lachie had switched on the television and told Chase that now it was time to unwind, and as they watched a rerun of an old football match Lachie decided to put it on mute, so they could have silence, and time to themselves without actually being alone, knowing that right now he wanted the company of his family to distract him from the events of the day, even if they were all asleep. They were going to need each other more than ever now and being here with Dean, Heidi and Chase was comforting and it also let him know that they were all safe. For another night they were safe, and that was important to Lachie as he knew that tomorrow it could be very different.


	19. Chapter 19

Heidi sat in her favorite place among the dunes, watching the waves hit the beach and disappear back into the ocean, the lapping sound they created soothing her and making her feel at peace, as did the silence that occurred between each set of waves. The color of the ocean was a magnificent blue, with tinges of green every now and then in different spots along the water's surface. It was seven o'clock in the evening, the best time to sit and watch the ocean. There was nobody walking on the beach at this time, so it was perfect to enjoy the landscape and the scenery and snap a few pictures without people getting in the way. Heidi loved it. In a couple of hours she would come back here and watch the sunset, which was just as amazing as the view was right now.

She was sat alone, the rest of the team back at her and Dean's house. Dean was in the middle of a game of volleyball along with Lachie, Chase and Jordan when she left. Lara was the referee and Vince and Michelle were observing, as well as watching the barbecue. Heidi had left them all to it and silently wandered off, knowing where she wanted to go. It wasn't far away, she could see them on the beach running around and throwing the ball over the net, little stick figures in the distance, but it was far enough away to be quiet. She couldn't hear their shouting and screaming, and Lara blowing the whistle whenever a team scored a point. All she could hear was the ocean and the silence. She knew that eventually they would notice she was gone and come looking for her, but right now she enjoyed the isolation and the time to think that this secluded spot gave her.

This was the first time in a while that she had been able to just escape from everything that had happened in her life and just forget about it. It was all still fresh in her mind, like it was yesterday that her world had come crashing down for the second time. The day that she found out that Lara had slept with Mack. In reality it was a year ago and since then the team had managed to find their feet again and get back on track. There were still some trying and awkward times where the past would be remembered or moments when they would all start fighting again, but that had also happened before the team had problems, not just now. However they couldn't take the credit for sorting themselves out after the whole thing with Lara, no, that had to go to Head Office and the team counsellor that the Emergency Services Minister had insisted the team see in order to become qualified as a proper team again.

Heidi didn't know what went down between Lara and the team, the day they confronted her about her confession. She didn't want to know. She didn't want the details of what had happened between her and Mack, and she didn't want excuses. Dean had given her a brief rundown about what had gone on, but Heidi had stopped him when he started to tell her what Lara had said. She never wanted to know. She had forgiven Lara for cheating with Mack, and knew there was no point in dwelling on it, considering it was over three years ago. Heidi now just wanted to move on with her life, and try to get back to normal, even though everyone knew that they would never be able to go back to their life before.

They had stopped their counseling sessions two months ago, and since then things had been pretty good. Lara had returned to the team after taking a four month hiatus until the whole situation calmed down, and everyone could work with her again. The trust issues were the biggest part of the therapy, and they still remained after the counselor decided to clear them to go back to work as a team, knowing that therapy couldn't fix everything but he had faith that they would overcome this obstacle in time. The whole team had been working on it and things had been going well. The only issue that the counselor had was the relationship between Dean and Lara, and he recommended that Lara be paired with someone else other than Dean in the future, because their problems lay deeper then Lara's problems with anyone else on the team, including Heidi. However things there had improved over the past two months as well, so all in all as a team and as individuals they were all doing better and the counselor was impressed and happy with the progression they had made.

Despite all this happiness and relief, Heidi was still struggling a lot with her personal recovery over what had happened to her, especially since they saw the police report that was released three weeks ago on television. Since then she had been upset and distant with everybody, apart from Dean. She remembered the promise she had made him about not keeping secrets and so had known that she couldn't keep herself locked up when she was with him. So she had told him everything, but no matter how much she told him and how many times she let herself break down about it in front of him, she still felt like she was all alone in dealing with it and felt like nobody would ever understand enough to help her. And there was no way for her to help them understand.

She heard footsteps behind her, and then felt somebody lay their hand on her shoulder, and recognized the touch. He was still all sweaty from the volleyball game and was breathing hard like he had just sprinted from their house all the way to where she was.

Heidi: 'Who won?'

Dean: 'Who do you think?'

Heidi: 'Chase and Jordan.'

Dean: 'Right all the time. I don't know how they do it but we will beat them eventually.'

Heidi: 'Yeah, you will. All it takes is a little faith.'

Dean: 'I came to tell you that we're ready to eat.'

Heidi: 'Okay.'

Dean: 'You alright?'

Heidi: 'Yeah.'

Dean: 'You thinking about him again.'

Heidi: 'Yeah. Its hard not to. I see him every time I close my eyes. But this time, the images don't scare me like they used to, whenever I thought about him after he attacked me. They make me sad, but I wish they didn't.'

Dean: 'It'll take time for them to disappear, and as for not wanting to like them, that will take time as well. Once upon a time Heidi, you loved him. Once upon a time you were happy and thought you would be together forever. That may not have been the case, and he may have caused all of our problems, but the fact still remains that you loved him. And now that he's dead, all of the good memories are there in your mind, and even though you don't want to think about them the only way to make them go away is to confront them, no matter how painful it is. Just remember that I am there with you.'

Heidi let a few tears fall as she listened to Dean's words and knew that he was right. She thought he was the one, and she loved him so much that despite everything he did to her, knowing that she would never see him again hurt her so much more than what he did to her.

Dean gave her a few minutes to gather her thoughts, and then took her hand to help her up. He gave a hug and kept her in his hold as they started walking back to their house and their team, Heidi using this time to let some more tears make their tracks down her face before composing herself so no one, except Dean, would know that she had been crying, wanting to remember this day as a happy day, the day where they all started their lives as the new team they had become, leaving their old, broken one behind.


	20. Chapter 20

As they walked back toward the house, all Dean could think about was how unfair it was that Heidi was still suffering after all this time. Things had gotten better, the whole team had gotten better and was doing well, and Heidi was finally happy again. And then this had to happen and all the good that was there started to disappear and back came the dark cloud that had been hanging over them for as long as they all could remember.

Dean thought back to last year. Exactly a year ago today the team started their new lives together after the whole Lara situation had been dealt with, they had heard her side of the story and everyone had gotten a chance to voice their own opinions.

While Heidi and Chase had stayed behind at Dean and Heidi's house, the rest of them - Dean, Lachie, Jordan, Vince and Michelle - had gone to the station to meet with Lara like she had agreed when Michelle had called her to arrange a meeting. Lara had been relieved that they wanted to talk and let her explain what had happened, but had been disappointed when she arrived and found that Heidi and Chase weren't there.

However she didn't ask about them again after Dean made it clear, with a vicious tone in his voice, that they didn't want to see Lara at the moment and he wouldn't blame them if they never wanted to see her again, leaving out that Chase had wanted to come but they hadn't let him, trying to protect him from getting upset at whatever Lara might say.

The way Dean had acted made it clear to Lara that Dean didn't want to be there either, and so tried to get right to the point so as not to keep him there longer than he wanted to be. That wouldn't help her in trying to make things right with them, by making them listen to hours of apologies and explanations that they didn't want to hear. All they wanted was the truth, no excuses, and a very good reason why they shouldn't just kick her out of the station right then and tell her to never come back.

To their credit after Dean's malicious words they all calmed down and sat at the conference table in the break room area, ready to talk and try and sort things out. Dean decided to let Michelle take charge and for the rest of the few hours they were there, he didn't say another word, instead letting everything sink in and trying not to lose his temper.

Lara talked first, telling them how sorry she was for what she said to Heidi, she didn't mean any of it and if she could go back and change everything she would. But she was so upset and embarrassed, and ashamed of herself for sleeping with Mack she didn't want to believe Heidi, because it meant that she was partly to blame for Heidi's break up and the events that followed. She didn't want Heidi to hate her which is why she didn't say anything sooner and after Heidi was attacked she wanted to come clean, but it was never the right time. So instead she kept quiet and hoped that things would work themselves out and that her secret would never have to come out. She said it was only to protect Heidi from hurting. She didn't think it would cause her more pain than what she already had.

Being as neutral as she could and without showing the anger she felt, Michelle thanked Lara for her honesty and asked if anyone had any questions to ask or anything to say. Nobody said anything, so Lara continued, desperately wanting them to forgive her so they could all move on and forget about it.

She said she would do anything they wanted to prove that she was sorry, and that she would never do anything like it again. All she wanted was a chance to do that and get her friends back. That was when Jordan stepped in for the first time and said that it wasn't going to happen just like that. Nobody was going to forget what she had done just like that. They weren't going to be friends again just because she apologised. But he surprised everyone at the end, because they were all thinking it, even if they weren't going to admit it to everybody else, when Jordan said that it would take time. Months, maybe longer, but eventually they might get to a place where they could move past it and start life as a team again. Maybe in the future they could forgive her.

After that more words were exchanged and people started to become brave enough to speak their minds and air the words that they were thinking of, instead of keeping quiet. Still Dean didn't say anything, but stayed and listened to everyone else so as not to miss anything that he might need to relay to Heidi and Chase later on.

Before they left Michelle told them all that the Emergency Services Minister (ESM) had heard about the 'troubles' they were having at the moment, his descriptive word, not Michelle's, and so had decided to send the whole team to a special team counsellor who would help them all to deal with their problems and get back to 'team mode'. It wasn't a suggestion, they had to do it, or the ESM would split them up and possibly send them to different rescue units if they could no longer work together sensibly and seriously.

So that was the start of their counselling sessions, and from then on they were all forced together into a room once a week to talk about their issues individually with Lara and everybody else, and also their issues as a whole team. There were moments when arguments started and got out of hand, people stormed out of the room or ran out crying, the whole two hours were passed in silence, or a couple of times they sat and had a sincere amiable conversation and talked about the good times from the past and how they would ever get back to a place like that in the future.

The time Lara took off from Rescue helped a lot because it gave them time to get to trust her again gradually instead of all at once, and gave her time to decide if she wanted to return to Rescue if the counselling didn't help and the team were still unable to work with her.

Luckily however, the counselling did help and after a few months of sessions Heidi was able to publicly forgive Lara for what she did and also tell everyone that if they were holding off on forgiving Lara for her sake, not to, because she wanted them to be able to move on like she had, and she didn't want them to not forgive Lara out of loyalty to her. Her words seemed to hold some truth, because after her forgiveness the rest of the team slowly started to forgive Lara as well, except for Dean who had started to talk to Lara again and had become more genial towards her, but hadn't been able to actually forgive her, not because of Heidi which she already knew from their private conversations at home, but because of his own personal reasons, one main one being he trusted Lara with his life and thought of her as a close friend, and felt more than betrayed by her. He felt tricked, cheated, double-crossed and deceived.

He still felt that way, but he was mellowing toward her and now, a year on was half way to forgiving her, if that made sense. He had become a lot friendlier and actually properly talked to her now, instead of using a mediator, usually Lachie or Michelle. They laughed and joked together and Dean had mentioned to Heidi that he was happy now that they were getting along better. He hated it when he fought with anybody, especially his friends, and so liked it when they could make up again.

Those were the good things that had happened over the last year, the bad thing had happened recently, three weeks ago, and had unfortunately put a temporary stop to them all moving on from their past completely.

It had been out of the blue and totally unexpected. They probably would have missed it had the television not already been on when they got back to the station after a rescue out in the Blue Mountains. They had all walked up to the bullpen, exhausted and ready to go home, except for their reports that needed writing first, when Chase noticed the TV report that had just come on, about a John Doe found on the hiking trail of Whitsunday Great Walk yesterday. They all stopped to watch, as the news reporter said that the police were appealing for witnesses who may have seen what happened, and also were looking for someone who may know who he is. They then brought up a picture of the John Doe and a phone number underneath, for people to call if they had any information.

When they saw the picture and recognised who it was they all froze and looked toward Heidi, who had gone deathly white and was barely able to stand on her own. She was focused solely on the television however, and didn't notice the concerned looks on everyone's faces. She hadn't seen Mack in a while and noticed he had changed, his hair colour and style for one, but she knew him as soon as she saw him. They had taken a post-mortem picture of him and had photoshopped open eyes onto the picture to make him look more alive and less dead, so as to make it easier for people to recognise him, and so even though the eyes weren't really his, she could have sworn they were. It was like looking into them the first day she met him. Those eyes were the first thing she saw, the same thing he said about her.

She didn't know how long she had been standing there before her mind cleared and she came back to the present. Looking around she saw everyone standing there looking at her, waiting for her to make the first move, which she did.

She walked over to her desk and picked up the phone, dialling the phone number that she had somehow rehearsed to remember later (maybe her mind already knew what she was going to do before her heart made the choice for her), and waited for her to be put through to the Queensland Police tips line. When she finally got to speak to someone she managed to keep her voice calm and controlled, and tried hard not to lose her composure over the phone, while she asked to talk to the detective in charge of the case about the John Doe found yesterday. She said she would only talk to the detective in charge and refused to give her name when the woman on the other end asked for her identity. She would only say that she had information they needed and she would prefer to remain anonymous.

It wasn't long before the detective on charge was on the phone and Heidi, her face and voice void of emotion, proceeded to tell the detective that the John Doe's name was Steven McIntyre, who his parents were, how to contact them and for the death notification to be made gently and carefully, as Mack was their only child, having lost another child already when Mack was young, and that this was going to be harder on them than anyone else, because they will have to go through it a second time. After that she just hung up the phone and bluntly asked Michelle if she could go home and write her report tomorrow, to which Michelle told her of course and sent the whole team home as well, knowing that this news was hard on all of them, but none more so than Heidi.

Dean had tried to get Heidi to talk about it, but she had refused, saying she wasn't ready to talk about it yet, and that she needed time to deal with it herself before she talked about it to anybody else. However it broke Dean's heart to hear her cry herself to sleep every night and to watch as she shut herself away from them all every day just so she wouldn't hurt them by making them watch her grieve over Mack, considering he was the cause of their problems to begin with. Dean didn't know how to make her understand that nobody was angry or upset with her, and that they knew she needed to grieve, because she lost someone special from her life, and she was grieving for the good part of Mack, not the bad part.

But she remained adamant that this was something she wanted to do alone, and it had only been five days ago, before this barbecue get together that Heidi had finally allowed Dean in, talked to him and cried tears for Mack in front of him, and allowed him to comfort her, letting him stay with her every night instead of crying alone and waiting for sleep to take her.

These memories, good and bad, were what was running through Dean's head as he and Heidi walked back to their house, hand in hand, both looking forward to the future that they hoped would be bright and gave them less trouble than the past had, both also sending silent prayers up to God.

Heidi, praying for Mack's soul that God take pity on him and judge him by his good deeds in life and not his bad ones. She prayed that God showed him forgiveness and let him through the gates of heaven and taught him to be forever pure and innocent, so that as his time in the afterlife progressed, he would become a guardian angel and look after people on earth like him, who were in danger of losing their good soul to the devil, just like he had done.

Dean sent up prayers of thanks that He kept Heidi safe and helped her to cope with the evil that was sent down upon her, and asked that He not test her anymore, any of them and allow them to carry on with their lives in peace and with His protection, allowing them to live this new chance of a second life as a team to the fullest and if any more obstacles were thrown their way, prayed for God's guidance and presence then as well, just like He had been with them through everything else.

Dean looked back up in the direction he was going just in time to notice that they had made it back, and saw everyone waiting for them, drinks in hand ready to make a toast, and was happy to see how joyful and contented they all looked, smiling and laughing and shouting for Dean and Heidi to hurry up. He looked over at Heidi to see her looking at him with the same expression of contentedness on her face. He cocked his head to the side as a way of asking 'Shall We?', and in return Heidi replied by squeezing his hand as a 'Yes!''.

Still holding hands they walked up to join the others and took the drinks offered to them, as Vince prepared to say the toast. Once he was finished everyone clinked their glasses and hugs were exchanged all around, and when everyone had settled down to eat, Heidi excused herself for a moment, went inside the house and found what she wanted where she had left it that morning, ready for tonight, and went back outside to the others who were all watching her with curiosity written on their faces.

Dean knew what she was doing, and gave her a smile of encouragement, having already talked to her about it and knowing that this was her way of moving on from Mack's death and letting the team in at the same time. Nobody else but them knew why they had chosen today for the get together, and he hoped that everyone would be as supportive of her in this moment as he was going to be.

Heidi lit the candle that she had bought specially for this day, and held the item that she had gone into the house to get out for them all to see what it was. When she knew that they had all seen it, she walked over to the table and placed the candle in the middle.

Heidi: 'Five years ago when we met I never knew that this was what was in store for us as part of God's plan. I didn't expect us to go through so much pain and hardship as we did. I never thought in any way that God would allow you to hurt me so much like you did, physically and mentally, but I knew that he allowed it to happen for a reason.

I also didn't expect to be saying goodbye to someone I loved so much at such a young age. And I did love you, more than you ever knew. I never stopped loving you after we broke up and there were times I wished we were still together, but I left that in God's hands as I trusted his plan, his plan that if we were meant to be together again he would lead you back to me in a way that I knew it was meant to be. But he didn't. God didn't lead you back to me, the devil did. I wish I could have saved you but somehow, I knew it was too late. And now that you are gone forever, we will never get a second chance. A second chance at doing things right and bringing back the love we had so it would last a lifetime.

I loved you, but now it's time to let you go. I know you are safe now, and are a better person again, and if you are listening to me right now, I want you to know that I will do everything I can to forget what you did to me, and forget your evil side. But I will also never forget the good person you were to me, and even though you may not be at the front of mind and I have to move on now, you will always be in my heart. Happy Birthday Mack. I'll miss you.'

With those last words she held the photo of her and Mack, taken on their sixth month anniversary, the same anniversary he gave her the promise ring, over the flame of the candle and watched as it slowly burned and eventually turned into ash in her hand, and after balling her hand into a fist so none of the ash escaped, she blew out the candle and stepped away from the table to release the ash into the air, and they all watched as the wind carried it all in different directions. When it was all gone Heidi sat back down at the table next to Dean and as everyone looked at her she gave a small smile and said:

Heidi: 'What are you all waiting for, I heard Jordan's stomach growling half way down the beach!'

They all laughed and everyone started to eat, not noticing the tiny bit of ash that the wind brought back towards them, as it settled on the tree next to the table, under which Heidi sat. A guardian angel, watching over her. No longer allowed to be with her but would forever be beside her. Forever in her heart.


End file.
